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Yashar Ali

Entries by Yashar Ali

Why Mitt Romney Lost: Empathy

(44) Comments | Posted November 9, 2012 | 4:19 PM

Tuesday night, Barack Obama won reelection because of one big reason: empathy. More specifically, he and the Democratic Party were more successful at expressing empathy than Mitt Romney and the Republicans.

In the election post-mortem, one number stuck out to me more than any other. If we put aside...

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You Don't Miss Him, You Miss the Idea of Who You Wanted Him to Be

(45) Comments | Posted August 30, 2012 | 4:06 PM

It doesn't take much to miss him: a song, a movie, a TV show. Maybe it's a friend mentioning his name or seeing or meeting someone who shares his name. The pain is almost unbearable.

The "him" I speak of is the man you used to be in a relationship...

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Why He Gets Over A Breakup Faster Than You Do

(79) Comments | Posted August 2, 2012 | 8:55 AM

Heartbreak is often described as a sharp, physically crumbling pain. When it comes to a broken heart, we imagine a flood of unadulterated emotions, almost as if we have been informed of the death of a loved one.

But I see heartbreak differently. In my view, the feeling of heartbreak...

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What No Woman Deserves to Be Called

(1196) Comments | Posted July 11, 2012 | 11:41 AM

As a man, I regularly use the word "need." I ask for my needs to be met in life, in work and in friendships. While I may not often get my wants fulfilled, I am insistent that my needs be met. I don't hesitate to expect this.

But what about...

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What Can Happen When We Use the Word 'Fat'?

(134) Comments | Posted June 25, 2012 | 2:33 PM

This past weekend, I had the great pleasure of sitting on a panel about body image, specifically about how women see themselves and how men and women contribute to our toxic beauty culture.

On the panel, I addressed an issue that has always bothered me: the way we say or...

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Treating Men Like 4-Year-Olds

(770) Comments | Posted June 18, 2012 | 9:38 AM

I've always said that it's a generally fantastic experience to be a man in our culture. This is because, in comparison to women, we men get way more room to be ourselves or do what is most comfortable for us. One of the areas in life where men are most...

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Why You Should Think Twice Before You Praise Someone For Losing Weight

(63) Comments | Posted May 7, 2012 | 11:36 AM

It's really the most natural reaction. We see a friend, colleague, family member or acquaintance who has visibly lost weight and we say to them, "You've lost weight! You look great!"

These statements are usually made with the best of intentions. We are genuinely happy for that person, we want...

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The Stupid Advice We Give to Single Women Over 40

(93) Comments | Posted April 30, 2012 | 5:04 PM

Last week, I was sitting in a hotel lobby waiting to meet with a friend. As I waited, I noticed a woman having coffee with her mother. During this meeting, the woman was excitedly presenting her mother with an e-reader. After the present was unwrapped, the woman proceeded to thoughtfully...

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The Stiff Upper Lip: A Man's Condition and A Woman's Burden

(69) Comments | Posted April 4, 2012 | 4:43 PM

It's a sight many of us are familiar with: a politician who has committed a misdeed, holding a press conference to explain his behavior. And who do we often see standing behind him during his moment of confession? His wife.

Inevitably, in the days after a politician's confession, we see...

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His Selective Communication

(486) Comments | Posted March 26, 2012 | 1:38 PM

There's no doubt that the primary way in which we now communicate is via text-message, email and social media. Phone calls have fallen by the wayside.

Electronic communication has changed the dynamics of how we interact, creating both benefits and problems.

One problem that continuously arises in romantic relationships is...

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On Women's Rights: Yeah, Yeah, Blah, Blah, Blah Whatever

(359) Comments | Posted March 20, 2012 | 4:22 PM

Last week, a friend told me something about a mutual friend who has been generally very supportive of my writing about women. She said he viewed my writing and advocacy on behalf of women as an "overreaction" -- that I was overly emotional about it and that my views on...

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If Men Had Periods, Women Would Know All About It

(302) Comments | Posted February 1, 2012 | 3:16 PM

Earlier this year, I was watching a repeat episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show." The guest on this particular episode was Dr. Oz, who was tasked with answering a series of health questions, many of which were related to women's reproductive health.

After Dr. Oz answered a question about douching,...

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The Key To Success: Be A Man

(127) Comments | Posted November 22, 2011 | 11:00 AM

Three months ago, I launched a website, The Current Conscience, which primarily features my point-of-view and my writings about women, gender inequality, popular culture, and politics. It's also been eight months since I began actively writing about women.

In my writing, I discuss issues that brilliant women writers...

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Now...Give Your Uncle a Kiss

(21) Comments | Posted November 15, 2011 | 11:57 AM

The shocking and tragic events at Penn State that have unfolded over the past two weeks, which have allegedly exposed former assistant football coach, Jerry Sandusky, as a sexual predator, have (yet again) brought the issue of child sex abuse to the forefront of our collective consciousness.

In light of...

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He Doesn't Deserve Your Validation: Putting The Fake Orgasm Out of Business

(144) Comments | Posted October 24, 2011 | 2:22 PM

It's great to be a man in our society. The perks seem to be endless. Everything is built with the intention of accommodating our needs. It's fantastic, really. We men are constantly validated.

And the bedroom is one place where we receive consistent validation. I'm talking about women faking orgasms...

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Are You Being E-Maintained? What His Texts Really Mean

(56) Comments | Posted October 17, 2011 | 5:07 PM

My friend Karen (all names changed to protect privacy) was confused and frustrated when she called me on a Friday night.

About a year ago, she met a guy, Michael, through work. They met a few times for drinks with colleagues and then one night, she met him for dinner,...

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A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not "Crazy"

(219) Comments | Posted September 12, 2011 | 3:34 PM

You're so sensitive. You're so emotional. You're defensive. You're overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You're crazy! I was just joking, don't you have a sense of humor? You're so dramatic. Just get over it already!

Sound familiar?

If you're a woman, it probably does.

Do you ever...

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On Menopause: Men Know Nothing -- It's Time To Change

(12) Comments | Posted September 9, 2011 | 3:22 PM

It's September, which means it's Menopause Awareness Month. But most of us aren't aware of this. Nothing comes up on a cursory search on Google News: no real news stories on menopause, despite the fact that this year, another 2 million women will reach menopause. These women will join approximately...

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Men Will Never Truly Understand a Day in the Life of Women -- But Shouldn't We Try?

(10) Comments | Posted August 29, 2011 | 6:13 PM

The other day, my friend Dina was talking about her experiences of being catcalled--street harassment is a more accurate term--while walking around the streets of New York. This wasn't the first time I've heard about the epidemic of street harassment. Many of my women friends have remarked about experiencing and...

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Is the Equal Rights Amendment for Hippies Like Richard Nixon?

(1) Comments | Posted August 15, 2011 | 1:36 AM

A few weeks ago, there was a hubbub over Congresswoman Michele Bachmann's decision to sign, "The Marriage Vow," a fourteen-point pledge drafted by Iowa conservative Christian group, The Family Leader.

The controversy over the pledge centers on the fact that signers are asked to oppose same-sex marriage on all levels...

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