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Yifat Oren

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I'm A Celebrity Wedding Planner, Get Me Out Of Here

Posted: 12/28/2011 4:11 am

Sometimes the thing you're known for is not at all how you imagine yourself.

In my case, being described as a "celebrity" wedding planner always leaves me bemused. I'm certainly not a celebrity, and though some of my clients have achieved fame, most go out of their way to remove themselves from the limelight. I would gladly name drop, but I find it to be a big bore, especially in Los Angeles, where so many deem themselves a "celebrity" of sorts, even wedding planners. If you really want to know who my famous clients are, I am more than sure you can easily find that out through Google and a myriad of search engines and blogs.

For my part, I prefer to view myself as a seasoned professional, providing impeccable service to the world's most discerning clientele. I pride myself in the team caliber I have built, the creativity of our design and our ability to execute couture celebrations. To earn a top spot in my field, I have overcome many challenges over the nearly 15 years I have been in this business. And during this time, I cannot think of one moment when celebrity mongering came into play. My goal is to do work that inspires me, not aggressively hunt down a celebrity clientele, which turns out is not so uncommon in my field of work.

As a descriptor, the word "celebrity" can cause plenty of excitement, but its over-use renders the term about as meaningful and specific as the word "supergreat." Look up "wedding planner" in any state and you'll get lists of thousands of "celebrity" wedding planners. Anyone who has ever read an issue of US Weekly, it seems, can adopt the moniker and claim they can deliver Hollywood magic to an Omaha bride. This usually involves heavy doses of sparkle, shiny fabrics, and complicated up-dos.

Likewise, television programs dedicated to weddings tell stories of women who want to be like their favorite "star" on their big day, or worse, morph into divas or bridezillas who feel entitled to devastate their family's finances in service of their "dream wedding." I am mystified by the idea of spending money you don't have on a wedding just to keep up with people you've never actually met.

I think the constant media coverage of Hollywood is a huge disservice to our sense of self. We compare our lives to manufactured, professionally styled images of people and events, not real people. Just like those angular, pore-less models you see in magazines who have been air brushed, so too are the reporting of celebrity weddings worked over by professionals. You can read all about the gorgeous items featured in Kim Kardashian's wedding, but chances are, those were paid sponsorships.

Perhaps that is what I object to the most, the idea of a wedding as a product commercial or illusion-fueled fantasy. I understand how the economics work - celebrities beget press coverage and if your bracelet/watch/car/wedding dress is wrapped around the celebrity, your bracelet/watch/car/wedding dress is going to become more sought after. Having been behind the scenes, might I suggest that much of the frenzy surrounding celebrity weddings is a fabrication and trying to emulate it is an exercise in futility?

I remember vividly the day of Kevin Costner and his bride Christine's wedding at their ranch in Aspen, Colorado. I was busy running around with my team putting out the usual fires, and calming a few frayed nerves. I was so consumed with my work on the ranch that I wasn't really aware of the media frenzy that the wedding was causing in this small mountain town. It was not until I was getting ready to line up the wedding party that I looked up at the hillside overlooking the property and my mouth nearly dropped open to see it covered with photographers and many many long lenses. And I thought to myself, what is it these people are trying to capture? What story are they trying to tell? Having witnessed celebrity nuptials several times since that day, I can attest to the following; there is no special story, celebrity weddings are like all other weddings, they have snafus, annoying family members, bouquets that need to be fixed, toasts you could have lived a lifetime without. It's a wedding, that's it, no more nor less. If you are still vested in fairytales, may I suggest the Brothers Grimm, they were my favorite. When I was eight.

Hollywood doesn't hold a monopoly on magic or creativity or perfection. Authentic, magical moments happen when people express who they really are at their weddings. It happens when a child interrupts the ceremony to scream that they love the bride, making everyone laugh. Sometimes it happens when no one is watching, and the father of the groom hugs his son for the first time in years. Weddings, no matter how lavish, are intimate and personal and ought to be low on show and high on warmth. I have no interest in weddings that serve to imitate someone else's life. What I am passionate about is celebrating the real life of my clients and would rather be known for my lack of illusions than my celebrity roster.

 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rochelle MacDonald
Living life at the legally accepted maxium speed
12:27 PM on 01/03/2012
Celeb weddings fascinate he public BECAUSE they do have snafus and normal stuff happens. That is what gossip mags are all about, humanizing the people we worship. It is odd that as a wedding planner to the rich and famous, you don't already know this.
05:51 AM on 01/03/2012
Useless article. Who cares. Nor would I be interested in googling to find out who else this wedding planner has worked for. Really?! Bad way to write this wedding planner.
05:45 AM on 01/03/2012
I really enjoyed this article being born in Los Angeles and now living on the East Coast I've done everything to separate myself from the "facade". The quality and truth of the article is refreshing and holds out some hope for la la land.
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hapytrkr
It's a comment board , get over it
04:55 AM on 01/03/2012
They need to have a wedding and dating guide. Who banged who could you be my sister or brother and your Daddy might be my Daddy. Married today, divorced tomorrow and yes we plan on being best friends.
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Ayesha Khan
03:37 AM on 01/03/2012
After very long time i have read some one talking real good sense, i adore such people who prefer to face and remain with realities rather than fantasies. I also agree that being a celebrity is not always that great they way it sounds to be. Being one own self is more satiating. Doing something which one really desire brings immaculate results and that is the supreme achievement for anyone. Those who are focused on others to acknowledge them can never attain the peace which is the core contentment. My regards to Yifat Oren--------
03:17 AM on 01/03/2012
best thing about these out of the world weddings is the divorce cost a hell of a lot more keep people employeed both ways.
02:33 AM on 01/03/2012
"now I see it up ther at the top: "Acclaimed wedding planner" yeah, right.
02:32 AM on 01/03/2012
It sounds like you barely tolerate what you do... maybe celebs would be well served finding someone who enjoys planning wedding because it doesn't sound lie you do... as you so modestly put it "For my part, I prefer to view myself as a seasoned professional, providing impeccable service to the world's most discerning clientele. I pride myself in the team caliber I have built, the creativity of our design and our ability to execute couture celebrations. To earn a top spot in my field, I have overcome many challenges over the nearly 15 years I have been in this business." I've read quite enough... may you have good luck in over coming your biggest challenge... yourself.
05:17 AM on 01/03/2012
You need to proofread what you write. It's rude not to.
05:24 AM on 01/03/2012
Rude???? lol
02:21 AM on 01/03/2012
You know I will not comment on megalossers such as the elite of actors or megalossers in sports. But I do have to give credit where credit is do. Some actors left their faithful wifes of many years admitting that they can no longer do the same. Then many years later they find themselves trying it again. Yet there is a small minority that still wanted the same women but wanted to play in their youth. For those few that still ended up with that same women, I applaud you! If I were as beautiful or as handsome as you, Gosh I just don't know. So to all of you that ended up making some sense of your life, Congrats! For those of you that think you have a right to tell me I'm wrong in my belief of America, go get your massage and make out a personnal check to the IRS.!
12:59 AM on 01/03/2012
Ms. Oren, it must be truly fulfilling to be so "great" at something that you apparently find so loathesome....*note sarcasm*....you clearly love the shallowness of the celebrity weddings or you wouldn't plan them and then write an article about them under the guise of modesty and disdain.
08:36 AM on 01/03/2012
I couldn't agree more with you!
12:25 AM on 01/03/2012
I am probably one of the few creatures on the planet with two X chromosomes who has never really had a "dream" wedding. I've never really thought about it, except in some very vague, abstract way. I would like to be married, I suppose, or at least in a committed relationship, but my dreams have usually run along the lines of climbing Mt. Everest or going on photo safari in Kenya or meditating at an ashram in India, things of that nature. Meeting Prince Charming, the big, fancy wedding fiasco and settling down with 3.5 kids has always seemed like window dressing. All this is to say that in my opinion weddings aren't really that big a deal and I don't know why we hype them as such. Too many Disney movies as kids, I guess.
12:05 AM on 01/03/2012
Well said Yifat. We've been brainwashed by advertising and the media into thinking we're not good enough just like we are, so we look to our so called "celebrities" and false heroes to uplift our own sagging self esteem. We seriously need to stop this insanity and regain our self respect. If people only knew how utterly human and flawed celebrities and sports people are they would stop worshiping them instantly.
Dr. John Michael Christitian
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hapytrkr
It's a comment board , get over it
04:48 AM on 01/03/2012
Dr. Jojhn, Please change that to "some". Some have been brainwashed, some seriously need to stop and gain "thier" self respect. I myself could not imagine why anyone would want to idolized these people. Flawed? LOL that's just the begining.
09:16 PM on 01/04/2012
I said that because it's far more than "some". For decades we've been under the influence of the media and advertisers who send us continuous messages that we need to wear a certain brand of clothing or drive a certain car in order to be "better" or "in".. as if we're not acceptable just as we are. They push our emotional hot buttons in order to make us feel like we MUST have their products if we are going to be in with the in crowd or whatever. You see it everywhere in the media, and the results are obvious in people.

Parents let their children grow up spending hours every day in front of the television, and on any given day they're programmed further into believing that they are not as good as someone who is a "celebrity" or a sports star, or who wears a certain brand of clothing. Until the age of eight, a child is in a Theta brainwave state.. which is exactly the same as deep hypnosis. From eight until around 15 they are in an Alpha brainwave pattern, which is light hypnosis. This is why I say were are being brainwashed. It's all ego and emotional based manipulation of the masses. And it's creating yet another generation of children who will grow into adults letting someone else tell them what to do and causing them to feel that they are not good enough just like they are.
Namaste'
Dr. John
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Streetwise4444
Ain't misbehavin'
11:46 PM on 01/02/2012
Dreaming a role and playing it out asleep looks promising! Gotta make it look real!!!!!
11:30 PM on 01/02/2012
If not for the invention of the camera, both still and moving, celebrity itself would not exist in the illusionary manner that it does in our society. There is something about public, many people recognizing one, that ignites the fantasies of many. But, if you can imagine what it would be like to wake up every day and go out of your home and never have any privacy anywhere, well, that's just complete madness and a hell I wouldn't wish upon anyone. We the public produce the celebrity. And, if it is true, than maybe we should look at why we need such illusions to distract our lives with. People are people, some have talent, many have talent, some get noticed, some don't. And if you don't have "talent", you're as great as anyone else, and if you are a celebrity you may have no talent at all. So let's stop this nonsense now and treat one another and ourselves equally.End of story.
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Streetwise4444
Ain't misbehavin'
12:11 AM on 01/03/2012
Generally speaking. How about drug addiction? Alcholism? The chaos and confusion are not the fault of the public! We are just fans who want to know about their stars much like a football fan follows his favorite players!
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saultxy
11:17 PM on 01/02/2012
This is a wonderful piece of writing with an important, timeless message — thank you, Yifat Oren!
I am the now-estranged long-suffering big sister of a bridezilla (aka narcissist) whose belief in appearances over substance caused wreckage for decades to come.
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Streetwise4444
Ain't misbehavin'
11:55 PM on 01/02/2012
Where did you get this skit. Hollywood needs you. That's it!!! Over the top!!! Instant fame and fortune!!!! Blank check!!!! Man, oh, man!!!!