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The Scary Side Of Online Teen Dating

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Originally published on, the premier source for youth generated news throughout the globe.

By Destiny Jackson

It's normal for teenage girls to get messages on their Myspace or Facebook pages from guys they don't know. They say things like, "Hey, you look good." Or simply, "Wats good?"

I always play it safe and ignore these guys -- I don't know who they are or what their intent is. But one day last year, my best friend found a stranger's message waiting on her page and she replied.

They started writing back and forth and she realized he had first written to her because she was cute. When he wrote messages like "Baby, you the one for me," she began to feel he truly cared for her. Pretty soon he wrote, "When are we going to see each other?"

I told my friend I was very suspicious -- how did she know this guy wasn't a grown man who planned to kidnap her? But she met him anyway, alone. Turned out, he was just another teenager from outside Washington, D.C.

Still, he worried me.

I worried that while my friend said the relationship was serious, she never introduced him to her parents or friends. I worried that no one knew him or even had a connection to him. On dates, they would meet alone at the movie theater or at his house, in a part of Maryland we didn't know well. And I worried that this 15-year-old guy only wanted one thing from my 14-year-old friend -- sex.

One day she told me she was going to skip school to go to his house. I told her it was dangerous to sneak off without telling someone exactly where she would be. She didn't listen.

After first period music class, the school alerted my friend's parents that she hadn't shown up for class.

Then, about half an hour later, my friend called the school crying. Her boyfriend had hurt her and tried to rape her, she said. She needed to get away from him. Her mom drove to pick her up and the school called the police.

In the end, he didn't cause much physical harm -- just a few bruises she got while struggling to escape. Things could have been much worse. I could have lost my best friend that day.

For adults, Internet dating has become more and more normal and probably nothing to worry about. But teens may be putting themselves in danger when they seek romance online. If you're dating someone you know only through the Internet, be honest with your parents or another adult you trust. Because as teens, our online communities may be growing every day, but the only space where there is reliable accountability is in our real-life community.

These commentaries by D.C. area teens are part of a collaboration between WAMU's Youth Voices program, Youth Radio and the Latin American Youth Center:
Talking to Teens About Sex
Hard Knocks, Good School
Love Can Bring Us Together

Youth Radio/Youth Media International (YMI) is youth-driven converged media production company that delivers the best youth news, culture and undiscovered talent to a cross section of audiences. To read more youth news from around the globe and explore high quality audio and video features, visit

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