Big Momma Is In The (White) House

"...She stood in mid ocean, seeking dry land.
She searched God's face.
Assured,
she placed her fire of service
on the altar, and though
clothed in the finery of faith,
when she appeared at the temple door,
no sign welcomed
Black Grandmother, Enter here...
These momma faces, lemon-yellow, plum-purple,
honey-brown, have grimaced and twisted
down a pyramid for years.
She is Sheba the Sojourner,
Harriet and Zora,
Mary Bethune and Angela,
Annie to Zenobia...

Centered on the world's stage,
she sings to her loves and beloveds,
to her foes and detractors:
However I am perceived and deceived,
however my ignorance and conceits,
lay aside your fears that I will be undone,

For I shall not be moved."
By Maya Angelou

When I was inside the Beltway last week, the hot topic I discussed with African American cab drivers, bell hops, shop owners, security guards, police officers, transit riders and teachers was not about President Elect Obama, but Marian Robinson. Without fail, at some point after talking about the election with them, they would declare with pride that, "Big Mama's in the White House, and I feel so good!"

Some of my fondest memories as a little girl were when my parents and I lived with my grandparents on 126 The Mall in Berea, Ohio. As I knew it, my grandmother's name was "Big Mom." She was "Big," because she was in charge.

A chocolate addict at a very young age, if I wanted another Hershey bar and my mother did not want me to have it, I would ask Big Mom and she would get it for me. If my uncle Allen (we were nine months a part), and I did not like something that either my parents or grandfather did such as not take us to MacDonalds for the third day in a row for a cheeseburger, small fry and chocolate shake, it was Big Mom who fussed until we'd end up riding down Bagley Road to the "Golden Arches." When Christmas time came, it was Big Mom who talked to Santa to make sure I got the presents I wanted because my parents did not have any money. It was Big Mom who ordered my grandfather around.

Big Mom told me countless stories about my family heritage that included black, French Canadian and Scottish. Big Mom was not shy about her looks either; always primping for my grandfather and, yes, smiling when other men noticed her, she was a proud black woman. She sadly talked about what it was like to pass for another race to get a "job." She watched countless job applications get thrown in the trash because the applicants who applied were darker than she was. Big Mom, died in 1986 of Ovarian Cancer. I miss her.

African Americans know the value of having a Big Mama in the house and this is why we celebrate President Elect Barack Obama and his wife Michelle as they welcome Mrs. Marian "Big Mama" Robinson into the White House to help raise Sasha and Malia. "All Hail to the Extended Family!"

Grandmothers are an extremely powerful force in African American family life. Analyzed as part of the multi-generational black family, grandmothers have often served as both patriarch and matriarch guiding the black family through the toils and crises of our time.

From the slave ship to the cotton field it was the Big Mamas who sang the Negro spirituals to keep the sanity of our people. It was Big Mama who put herself in harms way so that her daughters might be safe from the predatory hands of her white slave owner for another day. From the Master's house to the assembly line, it was Big Mama who worked more than she slept, barely eating, to put the best of the scraps on the table for her children and grandchildren so they could eat at least one good meal. From the hot kitchen to owning a hole-in-the-wall hair salon, it was Big Mama who always showed the younger women how to use a hot comb. It was Big Mama, even if she could not read, who taught the culinary arts of soul food and defining what it is to be Black and Beautiful. After giving every dime she had so that her grandchild could get a college education or, sadly enough, stay out of jail, it is Big Mama who comes out of retirement to work her arthritic fingers once more and again for a better life for her grand babies. Big Mamas are the prayer warriors in every black church across America.

So it is befitting that a Big Mama comes to the White House to symbolically pay tribute to the sacrifice and unconditional love these women give to their community on a daily basis. Big Mamas are not only grandmothers to their own, but entire black neighborhoods and in some cases towns. Big Mamas are the village!

The psychological impact on the African American community behind the news about Mrs. Robinson is heaven sent. Her presence in the White House shines a positive light on the role of the extended family as well as a healthy pressure to reconstitute and celebrate black family unity, community and social responsibility. Now, all of America and the entire Free World can experience what I have been blessed with as well as so many African Americans -- what it is like to have the "First Big Mama."

Follow Yvonne R. Davis on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Teleos1

Comments

[southernsepia]

Great post. I think those dissenting are being a little overly sensitive.

We as Black Americans must define our own culture and see it as a source of pride.

You have done just that with your homage to Big Mama.

I had a Grand Mommie but many of the attributes you describe apply to her as well.

[michellelamar]

My dad was raised by a single mom who was under five feet tall but was a total pistol! My grandmother, my mom's mom lived with us when I was a kid and having her around are some of my best childhood memories. I love that there will be an extended family in the White House. Great post!

[Teleos1]

Michellelamar,

Thank you. It is certainly all about the memories! Happy Holidays.

Yvonne R. Davis

[Babelfish]

As a white Englishman, I look on this cultural stereotype from a distance. I understand what you mean and I believe the character of a such a matriarch can only benefit the atmosphere. For me, it is simply the fact that a woman who has raised such a family and has clearly known struggles against discrimination, but has made it through determination and hard work, will be there and will speak her mind.

The previous Whitehouse must have been a strange place - devoid of dissenting opinion and tip-toeing round the truth. I get the impression what Obama would respect the wisdom of such a character and appreciate the benefit to his own mental compass. However, it must not be all about Obama's obligations as the first African-American President, but rather changing society so the ethnic origin of the candidate is not the lead factor.

[Teleos1]

Babelfish,

I so appreciate your comments a great deal. I also want to add when aspects about African American culture, history and life are expressed, it does not automatically mean it is a cultural stereotype. While what I described does not directly apply to "ALL" black grandmothers, the essence of the article does. While it is great to want move President Elect Obama beyond being the first "black" President (race is about politics anyway), the reality is it will not happen because it is so new and society is stratified. But with that being said, there is a great opportunity to make the change you are suggesting while embracing the heritage and experience of many African Americans. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Yvonne R. Davis

[SeattleSistah]

Marian Robinson is no "Big Mama". I guess this is a clear demonstration that black folks are not a monolithic society. Some folks will see her as "Big Mama" simply because she is a grandmother. Others - like myself who has had a "Big Mama" - see her as, well, a grandmother.

I know what you are trying to say but there is something about your characterization that rubs wrong. I loved my "Big Mama" who was always trying to feed me, had a snuff can under the sofa, and let me watch as much TV as I wanted as long as it didn't interfere with her "stories". However, there is a part of me that feels as though the stereotypical depiction of Mrs Robinson as "Big Mama" doesn't fit.

While I have a lot of respect for our "Big Mamas", I worry that your depiction has "Mammified" Mrs. Robinson and played into the domineering, asexual, loud talking, overweight Hollywood stereotype that those without "Big Mama's" can only imagine.

Mrs. Robinson seems to be an urban, sophisticated and reserved woman despite her humble beginnings and working class status; who with her husband, worked hard to leave behind the trappings and negative stereotypes that too often accompany the circumstances of the working poor.

[Eyewideopen]

Thank you!

[Teleos1]

Eyeswideopen,

You are so welcome. What struck you about this piece? Have a blessed Holiday.

Yvonne R. Davis

[Teleos1]

SeattleSistah,

I want to thank you for your comments and feelings. When writing this and thinking of my Big Mom, she was hardly any of the stereotypes you listed. I actually wanted to show a photo of her, but they did not post it. Because I have also run across so many educated African Americans who also applaud this notion, I do not think we should run from this. I do not believe she will be viewed as Mammified as you are suggesting and the fact is any person who might see her this way was not going to see her any other way any way.

Big Mama is simply metaphoric; even if she does not fit type you or I may think about. My grandmother spoiled me and perhaps was not a full fledged Big Mama, but what she symbolized gave her power, authority and a certain type of steadiness in my mind at that age. For President Elect Obama, he has referred to his Mother in-law in a way that is steady and "the glue." Big Mamas are the glue to families and communities.

Again, thank you for your comment and have a wonderful Christmas, Kwanzaa, Eid Mubarak, Hannukah or Holiday Season.

[NWReader]

I don't know, fellow Seattleite. This reminded me of my own (very white) grandmother; the woman who made the most amazing cinnamon rolls and soups, whose home was a haven of peace and love from my turbulent immediate family. There's something about Grandmother that transcends race, class, and creed. We all need a Big Mom. Those are two lucky girls, to have theirs so close.

[Teleos1]

NWReader,

Thank you for your wonderful comments. This is why it was important to mention that Mrs. Robinson will be the grandmother, Big Mama or First Granny to ALL of America and the entire world. My grandmother's signature style was this great beehive hair style and red lip stick. She was soft spoken, but insisted on what needed to get done. Yes, I am sure Sasha and Malia are thrilled. Happy Holidays to you and yours always.

Yvonne R. Davis