THE BLOG
10/14/2010 02:43 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Down-Low Expert JL King: "Monogamy Is a Myth"

Let JL King tell it: the greatest man lie ever told is "I'll be faithful."

"Men are whores and women are desperate," huffs King during our phone interview.

Six years ago, JL King sent shock waves through Black America with his revealing look at men who sleep with men, but do not consider themselves gay. These men, who live on the Down-Low, typically have girlfriends, wives and children.

Some of them have HIV.

This down-low revelation made JL King the man straight women loved to hate.

"Why do men sleep around? That's the million-dollar question. That's been happening since Jesus. There were whores then... and monogamy is not even in the Bible. One woman one man, honor thy wife and all that good stuff, but there were whores in the Bible."

When pressed about the Down Low, that other "don't ask, don't tell" policy that exists in some communities, JL King was quick to clarify the media's connection between Down-Low men and HIV infection.

"It's not just the Down-Low man that is spreading disease to our women," King tells me. "It's anybody who is having unprotected sex with someone who doesn't know their status. It's anybody who has multiple sex partners... it's anybody, straight, gay, White, or Black."

JL King cautions that not every man is on the Down-Low:

"The Down Low man causes such a panic that our sisters start accusing every Black man of being on the DL. I want my daughters not to fear dating a Black man because of the Down Low shadow that is all over our community."

But make no mistake; JL King says monogamy is a fallacy.

"Does monogamy exist? I don't think so. Do you?"

The search for monogamy--and the escape from the "married and dating" conundrum--paved the way for entrepreneur Cheryl Smith to launch Catch Social, a meet-and-greet service for mature, sophisticated singles.

"I was contemplating my own situation as a mature single woman, I'm not a clubber; I don't do a bar scene. So, where do we meet someone?" Cheryl says. "And then, when we do go to events, there are 20 women to every one male and he happens to be married. So how do you deal with that struggle? That is the reality. I've been in business since June, I gave a couple of events in Los Angeles and I have a Catch Social event coming to Chicago."

For the record, Cheryl says that monogamy exists.

"There are some good guys out there. It depends on their space and their moral background. There are plenty of women and men who believe in being in a committed relationship. [Due to] the media--there's a whole bunch of non-truths about where we are in our society--but on the ground, there are people who are very true to one another."

As for the maneaters out there, Cheryl is not as optimistic.

"Women are in control and we are not asserting our power when it pertains to what happens in the bedroom and what happens at all," she states. "Meaning, that all the men that I attracted have been the old school, 'if she makes me wait, I'll wait, and I'll keep coming back until I get it.' Women are not doing that, we are not saying no. We are too easy and we have to say no, let's wait a month, and let's wait. And in the end, guys are going to do that."

Well, Ladies and Gents, what do you think? Is monogamy alive and well?