I'm not one to gossip, so you haven't heard it from me, but now that the campaign is over, there's some tawdry news that I'm compelled to share!
I saw the vigilante-style murder that took place in the Midwest with my own big brown eyes.
There was an orchestrated beating, as people from all walks of life--Starbucks coffee lovers and Dunkin Donuts coffee lovers--stood patiently in line to pummel their target.
These people went into little booths, pulled back the curtain, and continuously jabbed, and stabbed...
And when the dust settled, CLASSISM was dead.
Funny, the big-shouldered cops didn't even bother to investigate.
I'm not one to gossip, so you haven't heard it from me, but I heard about the mafia-style hit that took place on the East Coast with my wandering ears.
I heard that FEAR MONGERING was beating the hell out of HOPE, until FAITH smote it, and smote it good. Funny, now that Faith has its back, Hope is pushing full speed ahead and is destined to become REALITY.
I'm not one to gossip, so you haven't heard it from me, but oh, wait! Did I tell you about the triple smackdown in the Southwest? Yep, SEXISM, AGEISM, and RACISM, were found lifeless in Arizona at or around 10:25 p.m. on Tuesday night.
There were witnesses to that spree, however: Scores of proud Americans reported that a very eloquent statesman and war hero, Senator John McCain, shared the platform with his misty-eyed, lightning rod of a running mate, Governor Sarah Palin, and graciously conceded.
Sexism, Ageism and Racism took their last breaths just as Senator McCain vowed to do everything in his power to assist his new President-Elect Barack Obama and unite our great country.
And I heard that after the campaign ended, UNITY hooked up with VISION, and CHANGE THAT WE CAN ALL BELIEVE IN was born.
And that's not gossip folks; you've got proof.
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