THE BLOG
06/10/2013 05:47 pm ET Updated Aug 10, 2013

Relationship Hell: 5 Women You NEVER Want to Become

You're in dating hell when you lose yourself, play yourself, bankrupt yourself and sacrifice yourself for someone who couldn't care less. Here, then are five character types to avoid.

The Placeholder Paula. On the bottom of the Totem Pole is the placeholder, and as the name suggests, she's just hanging around, taking up space while her man is on the prowl for someone else. Sadly, you can't really know you're a Placeholder Paula if the man is a really good actor; but broken promises, and disappearing acts can be tell-tale signs that you're not a priority.

The Side-Chick Suzy. At first blush it's easy to despise or wag the finger at the woman-on-the-side. Side-Chick Suzy is characterized as the sexier version of the woman that has made sacrifices and put in the work with that cheating man. Yet, Side Chick Suzy sexes and schemes as she waits in the wings to assume that coveted spot of the Main Chick. Sometimes, Side-Chick Suzy does get that promotion, more often than not, she doesn't. Cheating men misguide their mistresses with tired lies from the very beginning: He's married but not in love.

He's living in the same house with his Main Chick but they don't sleep in the same bed. He has a baby's mother but he's only there for the child. He hasn't had sex in months. He's fallen in love with Side-Chick Suzy, but he has a religious commitment to his family.

Side-Chick Suzy is fed a steady stream of lies until she makes demands and is abruptly replaced. And then she'll call Cheaters.

The Desperate Diane.
Tell-tale sign of a Desperado: "Every time he turns around, she's there," says Ehryck Gilmore, certified life coach and author of "Why Am I Stuck."

Don't fault yourself if you're clinging to a lover that is slipping away from you. Your desire to chase a mate who is walking away from you is not your fault, it's a form of seduction, notes author Robert Greene in the Art of Seduction: "Seduction is a process of drawing people in and making them want to pursue and possess you. Seem distant and people will go mad to win your favor."

The Over-Giving Olivia. If you have drained your bank account, co-signed for a motorcycle, financed his education, and/or made other big budget purchases in the name of love, you are not likely to receive the love and adoration that you hoped. Men want to feel like men, someone you can look up to, so to speak. If your presence is a constant reminder that he would be nothing without your finances, he will cringe in your presence (and creep with someone a rung below his professional or financial level).

The Invisible Ann. For Arrested Development addicts, (yes, I am one), there's this hilarious shtick about George Michael's homely girlfriend, Ann. Ann is invisible to others in the family because she is so dull and boring. Becoming invisible may also entail muting your own personality, style and/or favorite hobbies in order to conform to what he wants.

A good mate loves you for who you really are, and not for what he's manipulating you to become.