The End of Intimacy in an Instant World
In a world where technological advancements make everyone and everything easily accessible, it would seem that a couple would be drawn closer together, but that's far from the case.
Technological tools that pose as connectors are actually driving some couples farther apart. This is my spin on the end of the modern-day romance ...
This is a eulogy for our poetry nights at the bookstore.
Remember the day when that spoken word artist shook us to the core?
You were so inspired that you bought her book and I performed her poetry for you.
The more I scowled, the more you laughed. I just couldn't master her lyrical flow, you know?
By the way, I disagree, reading poetry on your Kindle just doesn't seem the same to me.
This is a eulogy for our conversations.
And the evening phone calls that stretched into the wee hours of the morning.
I miss that back-and-forth banter that once defined us.
Yes, you used to say tomaaaayyyyto and I used to say tomaaaahhhhto.
But it seems we don't say much of anything anymore.
By the way, I disagree, that sweet e-mail just doesn't seem the same to me.
This is a eulogy for our mid-afternoon check-ins.
I really miss asking you about your day.
And hearing how you planned to make our world just a little brighter.
By the way, I disagree, the Twitter updates just doesn't seem the same to me.
This is a eulogy for our intimacy.
I really miss staring into your eyes until your random blinks and my rhythmic heartbeats would eventually fall into sync.
Your wondrous brown eyes could never lie to me, no matter what your mischievous mouth said. Like when your mouth said, yes, that you loved my Creole dirty rice, well, your eyes told me to never prepare that meal again.
By the way, I disagree, that sweet Skype video message just doesn't seem the same to me.
This is a eulogy for our weekly golf outings.
After summers of your priceless tutoring, yes, finally, my swing is respectable enough to join you on the green alongside the real golfers.
By the way, I disagree--the Wii game version you bought just doesn't seem the same to me.
This is a eulogy for the Build-A-Bear Workshop teddy you stuffed for me.
And the handwritten love note that was pinned to its coat.
By the way, I disagree--your constant teddy bear 'pokes' on Facebook just doesn't seem the same to me.
The next time you visit my Facebook page, perhaps you should check my relationship status.
By the time you read this note that, too, would have changed.
Follow Zondra Hughes on Twitter: www.twitter.com/TheMoodLounge
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Why buy into the "tech" communication anyway? I can't imagine anyone believing that emails and twitters are going to make them closer!
PatA,
I think tech works best for those you want to keep at bay... :0)
Speak on it!
Oh, dear.
This is exactly why I'll never exchange more that three or four e-mails before I suggest (firmly) that my new (Insert Name of Internet Dating Site Here) beaux and I meet somewhere safe and very public for mid-day coffee and a face-to-face chat.
People can hide a multitude of lies in a profile -- everything from proffering 15-year-old profile pictures as "recent", exaggerations about hobbies, sports and interests, scary dental hygiene and off-the-charts odd mannerisms.
We meet in person and lay it all out before one-another. Period.
I have been burned too many times by too many squirrels who simply do not comprehend that in dating, as in every other facet of daily life, honest is the best policy -- in intimate relationships, honesty is never negotiable.
Being present? Being available? Being open to intimacy? Being real? These are required.
I agree when first getting to know someone that a face to face is probably the best way to go. But after a relationship and connection has been established, i think that the techno connection has it's place.
A mid-day text to say I was just thinking about you, a facebook status used to make a public declaration of my love/ appreciation for you, the unexpected prose sent by email... can all enhance a relationship.
These are modes that we use anyway, so to use as an additional tool to connect, on top of true connection, I think has its uses. Of course there can be overkill if not careful, but even a daily teddybear for the rest of your life could get old quickly.
Astjuste,
You are wise... daily teddybears is stalker behavior. But virtual teddybears can get pretty old as well! =0)
Seattle,
I can not begin to tell you of the horror stories I've heard about dating online and those outdated online pics. My favorite from a neighbor: "She had red hair in the photo. She had long brown roots and short red tips in person."
Hilarious. I couldn't agree with you more. Let's vow to meet our next catch at the coffee shop, or the bowling alley!
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