03/28/2008 02:45 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Having Babies: The New Not Having Babies

A gorgeous, muscle-bound boyfriend? So last season! The most-wanted arm candy right now is fat, slobbering and breast-obsessed. Yes, babies have replaced boyfriends as the new "It" accessory in Hollywood. Already A-listers including Julia Roberts, Salma Hayek, Milla Jovovich, Keri Russell and Maggie Gyllenhaal have just gotten one; Halle Berry, Jessica Alba, Lily Allen, and Nicole Richie are on the waiting list, and Sheryl Crow and Meg Ryan adopted theirs.

Though the paparazzi breathlessly track every maternal milestone from bump to baby's first photo, one tiny little detail is consistently underplayed: the baby daddy. But, um...whatever! Boyfriends are like, so 15 minutes ago!