Most of the political media is still knee-deep in speculation over who will eventually be identified as the vice-presidential contenders for the 2008 election. But why? According to some website, John McCain has made his decision, and it's like, totally Mitt Romney, dude!
Via Wonkette, that's the contention being made by some guy named Andrew from Hunter College on some website called Co-Ed Magazine - a laddish website geared toward college-aged men. Of course, as guesses go, there are worse gambles than Mitt. As the author notes, the former governor of Massachusetts has one thing in abundance that McCain could really use: tall stacks of dollar bills. But this is no guess! It's a sourced story - or "sourced" anyway. "A source closely connected with the McCain campaign, who asked to remain anonymous," to be specific.
Andrew anticipates the obvious question:
"How the hell did the publisher of the 'Top 20 Side-Boobs of All Time' get this scoop," you must be asking yourself, right now. (We were asking ourselves the same question.) And here's the answer: It's all part of the McCain campaign's plan to directly target college-age voters, in an attempt to sway them away from Sen. Obama, says our source.
Oh, yeah! Once college-age voters get wind of McCain's plan to put Romney on the ticket, they'll drop Obama like a handful of rancid slaw!
Perhaps understanding that rationale doesn't really make a lick of sense, Andrew added the following update:
UPDATE: We understand better than anyone how crazy it seems that we got this story first, so a healthy level of skepticism is expected. But we stand by the accuracy of our reporting on this, and will give you as many new details as possible in the coming days-including the name of our source, if we can.
And, that, ladies and gentlemen, is the awesomest disclaimer in the history of journalism.
In their defense, Co-Ed really did nail that side-boob story.