10/15/2008 05:12 am ET Updated 4 days ago

Media Helps Palin Cheat On Foreign Policy Test

Via ThinkProgress, here's a video of various media types telling their viewers that it's totally okay that Sarah Palin doesn't know what the Bush Doctrine is. Why is it okay? Because most Americans don't know what it is either! And they're right! In order for most Americans to know what is going on in the world, there would have to be some sort of public institution by which important facts would be systematically communicated to the general public, perhaps through an interconnected network of cathode ray tubes or something!

In other news, I took my car to get inspected Friday and was told I needed some sort of "tie rod end" replaced. Like most Americans, I didn't know what a "tie rod end" was, didn't see why I needed a wheel alignment on top of the repair, and certainly didn't see why I needed to pay two hundred and some-odd dollars to get it fixed! Sounded like it was just a way to get me to line the pockets of Big Auto Mechanic!

So I did what John McCain would do, with his War Heroism: I gave the dude who hangs out on the front stoop of the pawn shop across the street from my apartment fifty bucks to fix it. And he did! And I'm satisfied. Sure, the front quarter of the car now makes a grinding, keening noise that sounds like a quintet of robotic beagles being pummeled by meteors, but to me, that's just the sound of my freedom to tell elite know-it-alls to suck it. I think I know how to repair a car! I mean, from my land, I can see other cars!