03/22/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Dickipedia: Joaquin Phoenix

Joaquin Rafael Phoenix (born October 28, 1974) is a retired actor, musician, supposed rapper, movie villain, life villain, producer, music video director, social activist, PETA member, and a dick.

Phoenix is, as theorists indicate, the specific breed of celebri-dick or dick-lebrity that complains about all the compromises, suffering, and public scrutiny they must endure while simultaneously earning five million dollars a movie. He is also a vegan since he was an infant, which speaks for itself.

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