Stephen Colbert on Tuesday evening took on a story by US News and World Report that 15 companies will go bankrupt this year.
That's good news, since "I wasn't sure we had 15 companies left," Colbert quipped.
He proceeded to pull out a giant red button, similar to the "easy" button featured in Staples commercials, to determine whether these companies should get a bailout.
First up was Sbarro's "the mall staple." Noting that the finest cheese is aged, "and no cheese slice sits out longer than the ones at Sbarro," Colbert seems at first undecided.
Luckily the red button came in handy, dishing out a blunt "F*#$K 'Em" in response to the bailout query.
Other companies heading toward Chapter 11 include Circuit City, Linens 'N Things, and "Circuit 'N Linens, which makes bedding for your DVD player."