04/25/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Scritti Politti: March 25, 2009

Today is March 25, which, as you know, is the day on which the One Ring was destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom, resulting in the defeat of Sauron and his armies. You knew that, right? Frodo and Samwise, airlifted to safety on the backs of eagles? The Battle of the Morannon? Well, if you didn't know this, it means you have only six or so hours left to participate in Tolkien Reading Day. Okay? This has been an important public service announcement, which will hopefully dovetail with some date-specific Google Trends.

The Face That Launches A Thousand Dumbfounded Looks: Ahh, Michele Bachmann. She heard of this thing called the Constitution, assumed that it conferred upon her all the superpowers of Jesus, and then never bothered to get around to reading Article One, which explains "Congress" and "legislating." Now, TPM chronicles the "Bachmann Effect" and demonstrates that it's not exclusive to Tim Geithner:

Ed Henry On Ed Henry: You watched him become the big news of last night's White House presser. Now, hear Ed Henry's side of the story. Naturally, something Wolf Blitzer told him at the Gridiron Dinner figures prominently.

Gives "Spin Cycle" A New Meaning: I don't know where this whole The View/Morning Joe sex-toy stuff is going, but I hope it doesn't end until Mika Brzezinski and Barbara Walters buy each other one of these things.

Memories of CREEP: Yglesias notes that Fred Malek, Nixon's infamous "Jew counter," showed up today as a guest host on CNBC, which surely needs that kind of notoriety! We'd remind you that Malek figured in last year's election, as well: he was one of John McCain's national finance co-chairs. He is also, as far as I know, the only CNBC host to have ever been arrested for "for killing, skinning, and barbecuing a dog," though I've always wondered if Dylan Ratigan has some sort of "edgy" side.

CNN Works the "New Math" Angle: Via our own Alex Leo, Buzzfeed notes that CNN has invented a whole "new unit of measurement": the "fridge." Meanwhile, we are still waiting for someone in the media to properly define what an "assload" is.

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