05/21/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Dickipedia: Matt Lauer

Matthew Todd Lauer (December 30, 1957) is a popular television journalist--or "anchortainer" in common parlance--the host of NBC's The "Today Show," and a dick. Incredibly, he has earned a reputation as a shrewd interviewer, but don't let that fool you. The Today Show is the People magazine of TV news, and Matt Lauer has no problem devoting hours on end to stories about quirky kitchen gadgets, fashion tips for spring, and presidential pet adoption.

As the "Today Show"'s resident man candy, Matt Lauer's specialty is making post-menopausal women wet, which, when you think about it, is actually a pretty neat trick. But with little talent other than the ability to look interested and sit there with his legs crossed longer than any other guy's nads could stand, Lauer will most likely never leave the show. In this way, he is the Darrell Hammond to Katie Couric's Will Ferrell, and he knows it.

Still, Al Roker wishes he was Matt Lauer so bad, he feels a high-pressure system coming on just thinking about it.

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