POLITICS
06/12/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Angry Former GOP Congressman Compares Cantor To Porn Star

Hey, kids! Remember how a couple weeks ago, House Minority Whip Eric Cantor was totally out of ideas, so he formed a new club with Mitt Romney and Jeb Bush called the National Council for a New America, and then went on a "listening tour" where the first and only stop was a restaurant called "Pie-Tanza" that wasn't even outside the Beltway? And there, they snacked on pizza and listened to each other say stuff that was basically indistinguishable from the stuff they had been saying all along, except this time, it was at a pizza place? Yeah. Those were good times. Like the movie Adventureland, only instead of sexy, disaffected college kids with sexy and disaffected hijinks at an amusement park, you have sad middle-aged men with sad middle-aged talking points at a pizza place.

Anyway, according to the American Spectator, not even the launch of this ambitious new experiment in soggy, third-rate rebranding succeeded in making Eric Cantor happy.

Cantor was most stung after last week's launch of what he termed a national "listening tour," when Stormy Daniels, an adult film actress, announced at the same time her own "listening tour" as she mulls a run for the Senate in Louisiana.

"Apparently it's true: great minds do think alike," quipped a former colleague of Cantor who lost his seat last election cycle, he believes, for supporting the Bush bank bailout plan at Cantor's request.

So there you have it, Eric Cantor apparently has a sad because people would much rather listen to pornstars! Of course, there's still the mystery of the identity of Cantor's snarky former colleague! Of the fourteen Republicans who lost election last year, there were only four who voted for the bailout bill: Chris Shays of Connecticut, Joe Knollenberg of Michigan, Jon Porter of Nevada, and Randy Kuhl of New York. Care to guess?

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