Lou Dobbs, whose flaxen locks change color and hue depending on how terrified he is that day of the coming Mexican reconquista, is all about the birthers now. And everyone is yelling at him, save his boss, Jon Klein, who's busy pretending that Dobbs is covering the controversy instead of fanning it. Who's yelling at him today? Chris Wallace and Don Imus, for starters!
WALLACE: You know, I guess what surprises me is that one of our competitors, I'm not going to say their name, but their initials are CNN, they're saying, well, we really can't decide for the public what a legitimate news story is, so we'll cover it; what if a bunch of people decided the earth is flat, we're now going to report that story and let people vent on that? That's what news organizations are about, is debunking and editing and deciding what's relevant and what's worth talking about, and what isn't, and clearly the birth certificate story isn't worth talking about because it isn't true. And I think to everybody's satisfaction it's been demonstrated it's not true. I'm a little surprised -- you know, I'm not surprised that people will do things, because some people will do something for ratings every time.
IMUS: Like, uh, I guess leading the charge is my friend, by the way, Lou Dobbs, who appears on this program on a regular basis, and I like -- love Lou, known him for years, but it makes him look like a grassy knoll nut.
WALLACE: Well, exactly, exactly. But either grassy knoll nut or just so calculating in his sense, well, there's some audience out there and I'll chase it.
IMUS: I can't believe Lou Dobbs would do that, do you?
WALLACE: Oh no, no --
IMUS: Or you either.
I know. You're going to want to take a minute to wash that thick film of irony off of your hands and face. Go ahead. I'll give you a minute.
Also yelling at Lou Dobbs? Time Magazine's Mark Halperin, for Pete's sake! You know you've messed up when Halperin's walking around with the upper hand on you.
Mark Halperin reserves the right to revisit the issue if at some point in the future he can construct a list of nine random factoids about it.