08/30/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Polls Show That People Don't Know What They Want But They Want It Right Now (And The Rest Of Your Scritti Politti)

Sometimes, our political leaders are incoherent in their own unique ways. On other occasions, it's clear that they are just reflecting the incoherence of their constituents. Via Wonkette, comes the following findings from the recent New York Times/CBS News poll:

Fifty-six percent of respondents said that they were not willing to pay more in taxes in order to reduce the deficit, and nearly as many said they were not willing for the government to provide fewer services in areas such as health care, education and defense spending.

It calls to mind this famous exchange from the Simpsons episode, "Much Apu About Nothing."

Homer: What? This is the highest tax increase in history!

Lisa: Actually it's the lowest tax increase in history, Dad.

Homer: I pay the Homer tax. Let the bears pay the bear tax.

Lisa: That's Home Owners' tax, Dad.

At any rate, Wonkette's Jim Newell is ready to break some gridlock by any means necessary:

The government gets in touch with every $1+ million annual earner in the country and asks each of them, "If the government raised taxes on your $1,000,000 annual income by $9,000 in order to deliver health care to 40 million Americans, would you (a) just pay the taxes (b) stash money in an off-shore vertical trust scheme to avoid paying or (b) literally move to another country to avoid paying this tax increase for health care?" For those who select either (b) or (c) or for some reason both, the government will just take 100% of their money, stun them with cattle-prods, and feed them to the Uighurs.


This Day in Retrograde: Just when the National Review had extricated themselves from Birtherism, Andrew McCarthy drags them back in. Oh, and did he claim Larry Johnson, who pretended for a year to have the famous "Whitey tape," as a source? Yes? PERFECT.

Lorne Michaels Has Answered My Prayers: Steve Krakauer of Mediaite says that Amy Poehler will be returning to anchor Saturday Night Live's Thursday iteration, Weekend Update Thursday. That's good news. Consider it TiVoed. But what to do about filling that anchor desk on Saturday nights? Krakauer half-suggests that it's just another role that the infinitely versatile Kristin Wiig could play for the show, but I'm decidedly against that -- given the great Weekend Update guest character work Wiig has brought of late, it would be a huge comedy opportunity cost.

Rewarding The Wrong: CJR's Ryan Chittum has a great takedown of the Wall Street Journal's decision to let Donald L. Luskin take to their editorial page and write insane things like: "If the housing bubble hadn't burst, the 'many' who identified it in 2005 would have been wrong."

In Case You Missed It: Dahlia Lithwick summarized the Senate Judiciary Committee's Sotomayor decisions with wonderful haikus, for Slate.

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