03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Onion: U.S. Continues Quagmire-Building Effort In Afghanistan

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN-- According to sources at the Pentagon, American quagmire-building efforts continued apace in Afghanistan this week, as the geographically rugged, politically unstable region remained ungovernable, death tolls continued to rise, and the grim military campaign persisted as hopelessly as ever.

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