03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

David Letterman: "I'm Taking Over For Oprah...Tony Danza Will Replace Me" (VIDEO)

David Letterman announced last night that he'll be taking over for Oprah when she steps down next Tuesday despite the fact that Oprah's not scheduled end her run until 2011. "I will be the new Oprah. A couple of reasons: I don't like staying up this late," he joked (his show tapes in the early evening despite its 11:30p air time.)

"It's gonna be exactly the same show...I'm giving away cars, I'm giving away houses. Every now and then we'll get an author on and I'll work him over: 'Who do you think YOU are?' And then we'll get some movie star hopping up and down on furniture...I'm the new Oprah."

Dave hopes this will make him more lovable and end the misconception that he's a "snarky putz."

Letterman went on to announce that he's getting Stedman in the deal and that "O" magazine will now be "D." He also claims Tony Danza will be replacing him as the host of the "Late Show" and that Oprah is making a "huge mistake" by creating her own network. Dave predicted she'll be doing Civil War reenactments two or three months in.

Much speculation has been done about who might actually replace the queen of daytime. Whoever it is, we're pretty sure it's not gonna be Dave.


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