04/26/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Only Certain Winner Of Tomorrow's Health Care Summit Is C-SPAN

At tomorrow's health care summit, the stakes will be so dizzyingly high that it's only natural to wonder who is going to win and who is going to lose. Will Evan Bayh be so moved by the sandwich platter that he decides to run for office again? Will John Boehner stand up for the rights of an America that just wants to microwave their flesh to the internal color of a blood-orange without having to pay additional taxes? Will ordinary Americans of modest means be able to get some health care for the gaping head wounds they incur while working on America's "shovel-ready" economic stimulus infrastructure projects? Plus, aren't all of the Toyotas trying to kill us now? That could negatively impact our long-term health care costs, fo' sho'!

WE JUST DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWERS TO THESE INQUIRIES. But happily, Andy Cobb -- comic bedeviler of Dana Milbank -- and The Second City have identified at least one winner of the health care summit: C-SPAN! Tomorrow, America will learn, at last, about the full-tilt, white-knuckle action that transpires on C-SPAN every single day, excepting the BookTV stuff, which is actually pretty high-minded and emotionally restrained.


[h/t: Alex Leo]

[Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.]