07/08/2010 08:40 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Colbert's 'Thought For Food' Tackles 'Kentucky Tuna', Competitive Eating, Excessive Sandwiches

Stephen Colbert presented a "Thought For Food" segment last night, touching on hot food issues of the day: obesity, Asian carp, last weekend's Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest, and the Friendly's Grilled Cheese Burger melt:

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Thought for Food - Kentucky Tuna & Grilled Cheese Burger Melt<a>
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Some 'Thought For Food' quotable Colbert:

  • "Americans are always reaching for the our boxes of Lucky Charms."
  • "The Coney Island Hot Dog eating contest is the most patriotic observance of the Fourth of July short of a hot dog shooting contest."
  • "Takeru [Kobayashi]: How dare you taint this sacred contest to see who can eat the most tubes filled with cow taint!"
  • "I assume [Asian carp] are like regular carp, but better at science and math."
  • "When nature gives you carp, make carp-ade. Legal disclaimer: Do Not Make Carp-ade."
  • "The Friendly's Grilled Cheese Burger Melt is "like your lunch, and two other people's lunches are having a three-way in your mouth."
  • "What if you had a grilled cheese sandwich, where the bread was two other grilled cheese sandwiches? And then, what if those two grilled cheese sandwiches also had grilled cheese sandwiches for bread, and so on, in an endlessly recursive series of dual-state cheese sandwich bread cheese sandwiches, extending into infinity? Prepare yourself nation, for I have invented the Mobius Melt: You'll never want to stop eating it, and in theory, you never could."