Old friends become archenemies and The Situation shows off his catch and release skills on Episode 6 of the second season of Jersey Shore.
Things start off with another snuggle-fest between Snooki and Vinny, which leads to Snooks catching a glimpse of Vinny's manhood.
He's apparently doing alright for himself.
"It's like putting a watermelon into a pinhole," Snooki says. If that's the case, I feel very sorry for that pinhole.
Later, during another big night on the town, The Situation manages to lure a fake-breasted blond back to the house. She's ready to get down to business, but Mike needs to satisfy his non-sexual appetite first.
He cooks and consumes an entire meal in the dining room while his girl waits patiently for Mike to deign to have sex with her.
Finally, Mike returns to finish the deed. Then he decides he doesn't want to put up with the tremendous burden of sleeping next to someone else. Instead, Mike kindly asks his lady friend to get the hell out.
She obliges, surely brimming with an inflated sense of self worth, and The Sitch gets the whole bed to himself. Everybody's happy. Except, of course, the horribly mistreated girl.
Though he may be a tad cruel, Mike's preference for casual flings has its advantages. Sammi is barely keeping it together since she found out, in last week's episode, that her longtime boyfriend Ronnie has been unfaithful.
Sammi discovered this via an anonymous note, delivered to her secretly by JWoww and Snooki.
She's determined to find out who wrote the note, but Snooki and JWoww, for some reason, don't want to tell her.
Sammi's repeated attempts to find out who composed the letter rub JWoww the wrong way. It doesn't take much to send JWoww over the edge. She loves to fight.
Eventually, tensions between Sammi and JWoww run so high, the two get into a shoving match. Not surprisingly, the always terrifying JWoww wins, though neither gets too scuffed up.
The fight essentially boils down to two powerful head shoves by JWoww against Sammi's resilient, but ineffective arm flailing.
It's a dramatic ending to a night that also featured Pauly D's first on-camera hookup with Angelina. He probably could have gone all the way, but he got completely wasted and his legs stopped functioning.
Perhaps Pauly's body will be up to the task in next week's episode, which airs Thursday, at 10 p.m. on MTV.