10/20/2010 04:23 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Glenn Beck: 'I Haven't Seen A Half-Monkey, Half-Person Yet' (AUDIO)

If it's Wednesday in America, then someone, somewhere, is probably saying something astonishingly crazy about evolution. Today, it's Glenn Beck, who is probably happy to have the attention of the blogs! Per Media Matters, Glenn was asking the tough questions today, such as "How many people believe in evolution in this country?"

Beck went on to say that he didn't know the answer, because he's "not God" and, consquently, doesn't know "how God creates," but he thought that it was "ridiculous" to think that we "came from monkeys." Personally, I find the intricate calibrations of evolutionary biology to be one of God's most impressive creations. But, hey, that's just me, trying to give God the credit for being all-wise and all-knowing, like you learn in Sunday school, and not just some summa cum laude sorcerer graduate of Hogwarts. ("I'm not a witch, I'm you," sayeth the Lord.)

This leads to a long-winded dialogue about how evolution has been "forced down your throat," and so it must be bad for you, like, you know, lima beans or Robitussin. Always the forced-oral sodomy fetish, with this guy!

At any rate, your money shot, from Beck: "I haven't seen a half-monkey, half-person yet." Let me caution you: you will not be the first person to make a "mirror" joke, so step up your game.


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