The Onion News Network is getting so good at parodying 24 hours news programs you could almost believe you saw this crazy story on TV last night.
In this segment, Shelby Cross, host of ONN's "Cross Examination," joins "Factzone" host Brooke Alvarez to warn of "Decoy Muslims": normal, peaceful Muslim Americans planted in the United States to make us lower our guards.
Watch the full segment below to hear how Al Qaeda uses these hard-working Muslims against us, as well the ridiculous witch-hunt tactics Cross suggests to smoke out any decoys that might be living in your town:
"If you see a Muslim, I say just walk up straight up to them and under your breath say, 'I'm on to you.' I don't care if it's a man or a woman or an adorable little brown baby Jihadist in a stroller.