02/11/2011 03:41 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Real New Yorkers Don't Toast Their Bagels

Toasting. A highpoint of civilization.

Think about it -- fire plus the greatest thing since, sliced bread. You take something perfect -- bread in all its forms -- born of cultures geographic and microscopic, a food that can be transported, used as a vehicle for flavor, meal, and plate-cleaning device, a food that even spoiled, hard like a rock, can still be used. You take this divine gift, a thing that falls from the sky in religious texts, and you apply another divine power to it: fire.

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