The news tends to be dominated by people who range from a little insane to a lot insane. But here's a guide to navigating who has demonstrated a special kind of craziness over the last week. (Note: people with whose names include Gaddafi, Beck, Bachmann, et al. have proven themselves too crazy for even this type of list.)
David C. Schubert, the deputy district attorney who had prosecuted Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars for cocaine possession, was arrested last week... for cocaine possession.
Victoria Jackson, best known for her time on "Saturday Night Live" from 1986-92, has made the media rounds defending her recent claim on a right-wing blog that "Glee" is shoving "the gay thing down our throats" and making "a mockery of Christians" by including a male-male kiss in a recent episode (which might be the least gay thing "Glee" has ever done).
Ark Music Factory, the vanity label that released the profoundly awful YouTube sensation "Friday," has finally given a face to the vacuous industry that pop music so often becomes.
Last week, former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld tweeted: "There’s a reason Gadhafi isn't contemplating using a nuclear/radiological weapon today: He saw what happened to Saddam." A harmless logical fallacy until you remember that he led us into two wars we're still in! Funny, right?
Real estate mogul/reality show star Donald Trump expressed some interesting foreign policy ideas, namely to lease foreign countries land and then refuse use of it, a strategy that he once used with Gaddafi. Trump 2012!
Hugo Chavez, the controversial president of Venezuela and an outspoken critic of capitalism, recently remarked that it was entirely possible that life had existed once on Mars, but "maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet."
Former Van Halen lead vocalist Sammy Hagar claimed in his new memoir that he was abducted by aliens. But the singer went on to explain in an interview that he believes aliens enacted a "download situation" on him in the foothills above Fontana. It's suspect that Hagar appears to be more impressed with the aliens' wireless technology than his supposed contact with extraterrestrial life.
Political whatever Newt Gingrich criticized President Obama earlier this month for not intervening in Libya: "All we have to say is that we think that slaughtering your own citizens is unacceptable and that we're intervening." But as soon as the U.S. took military action against Gaddafi's regime, Gingrich had a new line: "I would not have intervened." If the Republican Party wasn't so renowned for its intellectual honesty, it would almost seem as if a guy who hasn't held office for 13 years is attempting to remain relevant exclusively by criticizing his political enemy's every action without bothering to check whether it warrants it or not.
When singer Chris Brown went on "Good Morning America" this week and fielded some unexpected questions about his past domestic abuse, he took it out on his dressing room afterwards, throwing a chair through a window and tearing off his shirt. His demonstration of violence, coupled with his half-hearted mea culpa, lands him in the top spot this week, although equally deserving may be the producers of "Good Morning America," who invited him back on the show next week.