It's softball season in Washington, D.C. and staffers from drug policy reform organizations are jonesing for a game against the Office of National Drug Control Policy. But they say the feds won't face them on the field.
The team, made up of drug reform advocates, is known as the One Hitters ... and not necessarily because of their pitching prowess.
The team plays in the Congressional Softball League, and were scheduled to play May 25 against the Czardinals, the sluggers from the federal drug czar's office, but the Czardinals called off the match, citing a scheduling conflict, according to Reason magazine.
Rather than sit on the sidelines, the One Hitters swung for the fences by claiming that their opponents backed out because the drug czar Gil Kerlikowske's office opposes their political agenda.
But a spokesman from the Office of National Drug Control Policy mocked the One Hitters attempt to light up the scoreboard.
"I'm not surprised they're hoping to score on the field, since they keep striking out in the policy arena," said spokesman Rafael Lemaitre. "When it comes to realistic approaches to America's drug problem, they're not even in the ballpark. Even they should know there's no crying in softball."
The One Hitters claimed the Czardinals have avoided them for six years in the softball league, but Lemaitre said that's misleading. The straight dope, he said, is that this is the first year since 2007 that the ONDCP has fielded a team.
The staff at High Times magazine volunteered to fill the void in the One Hitters' schedule by challenging them to a consolation game.