06/08/2011 04:56 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Funny Joke: The Speeding Ticket

A woman gets pulled over for speeding.

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your driver's license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you, but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: I lost it four years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: Oh. Then may I see your vehicle registration papers, please?

Woman: Can't do that either.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I kidnapped the owner, tied him up and stuffed him in the trunk, if you want to take a look.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away and calls for back-up. Within minutes, five police cars roar up to the site. A senior officer slowly steps out of his car and approaches the woman, clasping his gun in both hands.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please? The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem, sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and kidnapped the owner.

Woman: Kidnapped the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please?

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you don't have a driver's license. The woman digs into her handbag, pulls out a license and hands it to the officer, who examines it. He looks puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you kidnapped and tied up the owner.

Woman: I bet the lying SOB told you I was speeding, too.

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