Elizabeth Warren is running for Senate, giving liberal activists well over a year to decide who to blame for her loss (Kidding?). Allen West portrays homosexuality like a person who has watched The Birdcage WAY too many times. And if Mitt Romney is correct, and corporations are people, then that means Andrew Ross Sorkin is our nation's greatest gossip columnist ... which makes sense, actually. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Thursday, August 11th, 2011:
ELIZABETH WARREN TO BE NEXT PROGRESSIVE DREAM CANDIDATE TO ENDURE DEVASTATING, MOVEMENT-RATTLING LOSS - The CFPB successfully established and her candidacy to lead it successfully snubbed, the matron saint of that uncle of yours in Brooklyn who's always sending you clippings of Nation articles through snail mail is making a bid for Scott Brown's Senate seat. "In the weeks ahead, I want to hear from you about the challenges we face and how we get our economy growing again," Warren wrote on the Blue Mass Group's website. "We have a lot of work to do in our commonwealth and our country. We need to rebuild our economy family-by-family and block-by-block...We need to stop measuring our economy by profits and executive compensation at our largest companies and start measuring it by how many families can stand securely in the middle class." HuffPost Hill is so thrilled by the possibility of a Senator Elizabeth Warren that we might even take our Obama dart board down for a night. [Boston Globe]
Sam Stein with some background: "Additional information relayed from Massachusetts Democratic sources suggest she's even more serious about launching a campaign. Warren is currently being assisted by two influential Democratic operatives in the state: Doug Rubin, the chief strategist for Gov. Deval Patrick's two successful statewide runs, and Kyle Sullivan, Patrick's press secretary for his first term. She has also begun making a series of calls to influential activists and party officials in the state, including one to the Massachusetts Democratic Party chairman John Walsh on Thursday, a Massachusetts Democrat tells the Huffington Post." [HuffPost]
GOP DEBATE TONIGHT IN IOWA - We strongly encourage the moderator to ask the candidates how they're handling the cancellation of "Lopez Tonight." Check your local listings.
Here's your debate preview from Jon Ward
INTRODUCING OUR BITTER LAZY OVERPAID BUREAUCRAT - We're pleased to present to you the first dispatch from our very own Flex Friday crusader, the Bitter Lazy Overpaid Bureaucrat (or "BLOB" for short). In an email titled "My day in the federal government, courtesy of your tax dollars," BLOB detailed the many ways she shrugged the atlas on your dime. "Took an intern grocery shopping and to Starbucks.. Internet-researched kitchen appliances and athletic wear.. Dialed in to some conference calls that I'm pretty sure were only scheduled to make it look like people are working.. Probably going to head home early to do some laundry," wrote BLOB, who refills the office coffee pot when it's finished by expensing it out to a contractor. "Estimated percentage of day where I actually did work: 30.. Estimated percentage of that work that could have been done by someone making less than half of my salary: 90.. Probability of working from home tomorrow: high." Thanks, BLOB!
PERRY RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, SPOKESMAN CONFIRMS - Not that this is shocking news, but Rick Perry's spokesman this afternoon confirmed reports that Rick Perry will use an event this Saturday to announce his presidential campaign. So, to conclude: Nothing has changed. [HuffPost]
DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - HuffPost D.C. interns Tyler Kingkade and Jordan Howard, with an assist from DDD, called up 36 companies and asked why their online job ads tell the unemployed to buzz off. Businesses said, "It wasn't us!" But staffing agencies said it's legit to screen out the jobless. "When my clients hire me, they want people who are motivated to go to work for the right reasons," said one staffing honcho. "And if someone is currently employed in a good position, then their motivation to move to a different company would be that the company offers better benefits or offers more growth for advancement, or whatever. They're not people who have to have a job, they're people who want to move for the right reasons." Thanks, guy! [HuffPost]
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HOUSE DEMOCRATS RELEASE NAMES OF FINAL SUPER COMMITTEE/CONGRESS MEMBERS - "House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) made the final picks for the new deficit-slashing "super Congress" Thursday, naming three lawmakers she believed would back her position that revenue-raising measures must be included in any deal reached by the committee. The super Congress, officially titled "The Joint Select Committee on Deficit Reduction," consists of 12 super lawmakers -- six from each party and each chamber -- who have been given nearly unprecedented power to cut projected deficits by $1.5 trillion over 10 years... Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-S.C.), who is the assistant party leader; Rep. Xavier Becerra (D-Calif.), vice chair of the Democratic Caucus; and Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.), the top Democrat on the House Budget Committee." Becerra was on Simpson-Bowles and voted no from the left (good), Clyburn has endorsed cuts to entitlements, including raising the Social Security age (bad) and Van Hollen will do whatever Pelosi tells him (good or bad, not sure). [HuffPost's Mike McAuliff]
Who's gonna staff the Super Congress? text Super Lobbyists, of course.
GOP SUPER CONGRESS MEMBER SAYS TAX HIKES ARE ON THE TABLE - Ways and Means Chairman and SUPER DUPER DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION CONGRESS COMMITTEE member Dave Camp, either trying to be a team player or angling for one of those "Amidst Debt Rancor, Camp Emerges As Consensus Builder"-style profiles, says he's open to suggestions. "I don't want to rule anything in or out," he said in an interview with Reuters. "I am willing to discuss all issues that might help us reduce our short and long-term debt and grow our economy...Everything is on the table until we as a group rule it out." A flack for Ways and Means wants you to hold on that piece, FWIW: "Despite a misleading and inaccurate headline that attempts to tell a story when there isn't one to tell, Chairman Camp's position on taxes has not changed." OK! [The Hill]
ONCE UPON A TIME, MITCH MCCONNELL DIDN'T MIND TAXING RICH PEOPLE - Mitch McConnell has been so vociferous in his opposition to increasing taxes on wealthy Americans that you'd think he once sneaked out on his wife to have sex with upper-bracket taxes in a highway rest stop bathroom somewhere. Well, in a way, he kind of did! Back in 1990, McConnell ran a reelection ad portraying himself as a middle class crusader. "I'm sure you've been watching this mess in Washington," McConnell said in the spot. "I'd like you to know how I feel about it. I haven't voted for one of these lousy budget packages for years and I won't vote for this one. It would raise taxes on the wrong people. Unlike some folks around here I think everyone should pay their fair share. Including the rich. We need to protect our seniors from Medicare cuts too." [HuffPost's Sam Stein]
Would-be Senate candidate Jason Chaffetz is barnstorming Utah in an attempt to portray himself as the renegade BYU student who once tried coffee. "Remember, when I ran for Congress, it was Orrin Hatch, Bob Bennett, President Bush who came out and endorsed for his candidate against me. I love that. Bring it on. Bring it on," the congressman said during one town hall meeting. [National Journal]
MITT ROMNEYBOT: CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE - OF COURSE corporations are people. People Magazine has been reporting on Justin Bieber 's on again/off again thing with ConocoPhillips for MONTHS. Anyway, at an event today in Iowa, the GOP primary frontrunner defended the GOP position that taxes on the rich not be raised by ... well ... comparing human beings to corporations. "Corporations are people, my friend," he said. "Of course they are." After the crowd responded with jeers and groans, Romneybot defragmented himself and tried again. "Everything corporations earn goes to people," he said. "Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? People's pockets. Human beings, my friend." That is until Romney extracts the programs from the TRON machine and begins the revolution against the Users. [TPM]
Unlike corporations, Romney runs AWAY from humans. Here's Romney fleeing from the ever-threatening Norah O'Donnell
JON HUNTSMAN JUST NOW GETTING TO IOWA ... SOMEHOW - The former Utah governor and U.S. ambassador to China -- who isn't even polling at Alan Keyes levels -- touched down in the Hawkeye State FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE CAMPAIGN. Huntsman is in the state for tonight's debate and will return to New Hampshire tomorrow where he, like any self-respecting Republican presidential candidate, will eschew Iowa's high-caloric photo-ops at fried dough emporiums for dodging questions about a flat tax in the Granite State. "I've been to Iowa before. I love Iowa; we'll see where the campaign takes us," the candidate said to USA Today. "We have three early primary states that we have a laser-like focus on and we are going to go where we need to go in order to get the critical mass to win this election." Cool campaign savvy. So we guess we shouldn't be surprised if a reporter's mic picks up Huntsman asking an aide how to properly kiss a baby? [Des Moines Register and USA Today]
So now that your life has been vastly improved by Rick Perry and a bunch of people in an arena praying, what are you doing differently?
BACHMANN GETS HER OWN SUPER PAC - You know how every so often, stories pop up about how Country X and Country Y have just now signed an armistice to a conflict that ended decades ago? We had a similar reaction to a report that Michele Bachmann is just now getting a Super PAC. "Keep Conservatives United," which launched a month ago, will run advertisements highlighting Bachmann's conservative bona fides while attempting to discredit Rick Perry. Also, the co-founder is "Bob Harris," a veteran conservative politico who has previously worked with Jesse Helms. In tribute to Harris' name, here's one of our favorite scenes from one of our favorite movies. [CNN]
We missed Allen West demonstrating his deep grasp of sexuality earlier this week: "No. I like chocolate chip ice cream and I will continue to like chocolate chip ice cream. So there's no worry about me changing to vanilla. I like to, you know, ride my motorcycle. What do you want me to do? You want me to change my behavior and ride a scooter? I'm not into that." [Sun Sentinel]
BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Dramatic Chihuahua is dramatic, not fooling anyone.
JEREMY'S WEATHER REPORT - Tonight: The cool air is here for a few days, at least. Temperatures in the 70s, with cloud cover. To some of you, it may feel a bit chilly. Tomorrow: We approach, but don't exactly hit, 90 degrees. The humidity will remain low, and we'll have lots of sun. It's a perfect day to go make yourself some corporate friends. Thanks, JB!
- John Stamos and Bob Saget demonstrate how best to cuddle. Watch closely, gents. [http://huff.to/pCTUUm]
- Baby panda is clumsy, staging a jailbreak. [http://huff.to/nj7vNW]
- Some great mid-1960s illustrations inspired by Jules Verne. [http://bit.ly/e0G6Yf]
- Not exactly comforting but this retro Goodyear commercial is easily the mos sexist advertisement we've seen in a long while. [http://huff.to/qZQf1r]
- So the latest .gif meme is to place sunglasses over celebrities' eyes and have the words "DEAL WITH IT" flash on the image. Here's a sampling. [http://huff.to/rphHmD]
- A small island nation in the Pacific is printing Star Wars-themed coins to be used as legal tender. [http://huff.to/pg8mnN]
- Everything is Terrible brings us "Joe Average," a terrible-looking, low budget early 90s TV series/movie [http://huff.to/nAXBND]
- Speaking of the early 1990s, the video for Mayer Hawthorne's "A Long Time" is one of the best examples of early-1990s throwbacks we've seen in a while. [PUBLICATION]
@brianbeutler: Until 1865, I guess FuBu would have been three-fifths of a person?
@delrayser: I file Articles of Incorporation in the state w/the most lenient tax laws and/or environmental regulations, therefore I am.
@KagroX: Mitt Romney: He's good corporations.
All day: All day: Gaze at the Tetons with Mike Enzi. The senator plays tour guide for his "Day at the Tetons Fly-Fishing Event And Dinner" [Jackson Hole, WY].
6:00 pm: Kirsten Gillibrand continues her statewide fundraising tour with a campaign event in New York's turn-of-the-century upstate playground, Saratoga Springs. Big Apple residents know it as "The OK Upstate" [Saratoga Springs, NY].
Tomorrow - Sunday: You can never get started on that reelection too early: Harry Reid takes his donors to the Godfather 2 side of Lake Tahoe for a weekend retreat. Sheldon Whitehouse and Bill Nelson join the majority leader [Hyatt Regency Lake Tahoe Resort, Incline Village, NV].
Tomorrow - Sunday: North Dakota Senator John Hoeven who -- oh, yeah! -- Exists, takes his donors on the "Second Annual Weekend in Park City, Utah." This is a good time to remind you of the saddest Wikipedia line ever, which happens to be about North Dakota: "North Dakota is considered the least visited state, owing, in part, to its not having a major tourist attraction." Womp womp. [Park City, UT].
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