SAN FRANCISCO
08/11/2011 12:29 pm ET Updated Oct 11, 2011

San Francisco Mayoral Debate Drinking Game

Much like professional sporting events and high school graduations, political debates are ideal opportunities for drinking games.

While we in no way support doing awesome stuff like binge drinking, drinking games are often a fun way to liven up what would normally be a staid affair (if it weren't for all the people in the audience blowing air horns and screaming, "lie Ed lie," every time the mayor tried to answer a question).

Drink any time a candidate says any of the following things:

"America's Cup" (as in hooray for that fancy yacht race for millionaires) - 1 drink

"America's Cup" (as in f*ck that fancy yacht race for millionaires) - 2 drinks

"I'm disappointed in Ed Lee" - 1 drink

"I'm disappointed in Barack Obama" - 3 drinks

"I'm disappointed in Barry Zito" - 5 drinks

"Downtown interests" - 1 drink

"Gay agenda" - 1 drink

"Fabulous gay agenda" - 2 drinks

"James Franco's porn movie" - 3 drinks

"Jello Biafra" - 5 drinks

"Bikes" (only if mentioned in conjunction with the candidate boasting that they bike every day) - 1 drink

"Muni" (only if mentioned in conjunction with the candidate boasting that they ride Muni every day) - 2 drinks, unless this is said by Joanna Rees, in which case, 100 drinks.

"Chris Daly" - 1 drink

"That bartender" - 2 drinks

"That motherf*cking bartender" - 3 drinks

"Treasure Island" - 1 drink

"Central Subway" - 1 drink

"Gavin Newsom" - 1 drink

"Gavin Newsom's hair" - 2 drinks

"Willie Brown's hair" - 3 drinks

"C.W. Nevius" - 2 drinks (drinks must not be consumed while sitting or lying down)

"Rose Pak" - 1 drink

"Tony Hall" - 10 drinks

"Peaches Christ" - 1 drink

"You are tearing me apart Lisa" - 12 drinks

"Pension reform" - 1 drink

"His Imperial Majesty Emperor Joshua Norton The First, Emperor of These United States and Protector of Mexico" - 1 drink

"Budget deficit" - 1 drink

"Baba Booey" - 5 drinks

If Green Party candidate Terry Baum crashes the stage, take one drink every time she speaks.

If another candidate crashes the stage, take two tabs of acid and drink every time a chair speaks.*

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The winner is the first person to figure out who they're going to vote for.

*Please do not actually do this; San Francisco politics is scary enough without tripping.