09/13/2011 10:24 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

'Breaking Dawn' Trailer: Watch 'Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn' Full Theatrical Preview Revealed (VIDEO)

Forget Beyonce's baby bump; now, it's all about Bella Swan's brewing belly. After all, only one of the two cultural icons is carrying a seemingly impossible miracle child from an undead hubby.

The first full theatrical trailer for "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1" has hit the web, bringing with it enough melodrama to give Dracula morning sickness. We get our first good glimpse of the insanely persistent Bella and complicatedly dreamy Edward Cullen taking their wedding vows (which makes Jacob sad!), and then the how-did-they-do-that pregnancy of the new couple.

Mr. Cullen has such strong seed, apparently, it not only defies the laws of life & death (staying fresh for over 90 years of discontinued use) but also implants into his wife's womb a rapidly growing, energy-sucking offspring that threatens her very existence (making Jacob even more sad!). Then again, Part 2 will see him get pretty happy about the kid, so, all in all, a bit of a wash for the abtastic teen wolf.

It also seriously angers Jacob's doggy pals (perhaps they resent being assigned the Baby Bjorn on the baby shower registry?) and the Volturi over in Italy (not that they're ever super pumped about anything).

Also something of which to take note: the newlyweds may need to invest in some new bedroom furniture.