Breast implants save lives.
No, it's not a puerile frat house chant. It's a true news story, ripped straight from the headlines as of yesterday. Russian newspaper Pravda reported that a Moscow woman was attacked with a knife by her own husband, but was saved when he stabbed her in the breast implant.
The knife stuck in the silicone implant, saving the woman.
Calling the silicone implants "body armor," Pravda writes that ironically, "the woman's husband asked his wife to enlarge her breasts five years ago."
Years later, when he aimed a knife at his wife's heart in a fit of anger, it was the breast enlargement that blunted the force. Moreover, "The content of the implant did not leak, and the breast preserved its original shape."
It didn't even leak?? Those must be some hardcore implants. It wouldn't be the first time a breast enhancement saved a woman's life: February of last year, a woman was caught in gunfire in the office of a Beverly Hills dentist. The woman, boasting size-D breast implants, was shot in the chest... but, according to the Los Angeles Times, the bullet simply deflated the silicon implant and left a scar.
Moral of the story: if you're nervous about getting shot or stabbed in the chest anytime soon... get a boob job?
Eh, maybe not. But good to know that it could help.