01/30/2012 09:34 am ET Updated Mar 31, 2012

The 6 Most Terrifying Features Of Japanese Toilets

You're probably already familiar with a toilet. If you're not, it's that poop-eatin' chair in the other room. When you think about it -- and most people, rightly, don't -- a toilet's got a pretty thankless task. With a job description that grim, few would have the nerve to ask much more of the poor toilet.

The Japanese are those few people. It turns out that nearly every toilet in Japan is equipped with a variety of auxiliary functions, some of them only slightly related to poop eating. Bidets, seat warmers and wireless remotes are all very common features. Many Japanese manufacturers are even building "smart" toilets capable of automated operations, increased user feedback and other feats that will blow your ass' mind.