As anyone who has ever made it through the less riveting parts of the Oscar broadcast knows, alcohol can be helpful. But if you prefer to imbibe with purpose -- not just out of desperation -- or would like to get your guests a little more engaged in the proceedings, a little drinking game might do the trick. You'll find ours below, and do feel free to add to it in the comments.
Note: It would be impossible to create a drinking game funnier than the "Bridesmaids" cast did at the SAG Awards (video below), so we're content with second best.
Additional note: Because you probably have a few things to do Monday morning and because college is lo so many years past, we highly recommend following every glass of champagne or your drink of choice with two glasses of water or seltzer. You're welcome.
Now print this out, friends, and drink if/when:
- You are pregaming with E!
- You put on formalwear for this.
- Said formalwear required Spanx.
- More than three actresses show up in headbands.
- The headbands are good.
- An actor brings his mom as his date.
- January Jones wears another dress made out of fringe.
- Emma Stone looks even more stunning than last year.
- Angry Ryan Gosling fans picket the red carpet, as they did when Ryan was egregiously snubbed by People.
- The announcer voice announces "The 84th Annual ACADEMY AWAAAARDS."
- There is a kick line in Billy Crystal's opening song.
- Your choice for Best Supporting Actress wins.
- Tom Cruise jumps on a sofa.
- A winner speaks in a foreign language.
- Anyone at your party asks, "Who is that?"
- It was George Clooney.
- The you're-long-winded music cuts a winner off.
- An animal appears on stage.
- Any two members of the cast of "Bridesmaids" appear on stage together.
- Someone says that "Bridesmaids" proved that women are funny.
- "Bridesmaids" wins Best Original Screenplay.
- Viola Davis wins Best Actress.
- "The Help" wins Best Picture.