Sergio Valderrain told police officers on Sunday morning he didn't mean to urinate on his infant son, but that he was drunk on Four Loko and thought he was standing over the toilet.
Officers nevertheless arrested the 31-year-old Phoenix man on suspicion of child abuse, ABC 15 News Phoenix reports.
It all started early Sunday when Valderrain's wife Jennifer woke up after hearing what she thought was running water in the kitchen, according to the station. When she went to check out the sounds, she saw her husband peeing on the face and body of their infant son Greyson.
"To be peeing on him and to see him choking and still peeing and then laughing hysterically about it, I mean that's gotta be the lowest. That's worse than spitting on somebody,” Valderrain told ABC 15.
According to court documents obtained by the Phoenix New Times, Valderrain told his wife, "Now [Greyson] has something to remember his dad by."
Valderrain is currently in jail awaiting an initial hearing, which is scheduled for Monday.
According to the Arizona Republic, Valderrain is ineligible to be released on bail due to a hold by U.S. Immigration officials.