Have you ever wanted to know what you might look like in 50 years? What about what you'd look like after eating 50,000 hotdog-filled pizza crusts and never exercising? Or if all of your hair fell out overnight and you were left with a tragic, Larry-David-esque halo of hair?
Well, you're in luck, weirdo, because there is now a trio of iPhone apps that simulate, with frightening realism, the sad, fat, bald old man or woman that we are all destined to become.
The apps are called Fatify, Oldify and Baldify, and each one shows you a computerized simulation of what you'll look like when you are fat, old, and bald, respectively; it does this by manipulating a photo that you feed into the app. You just point your iPhone's front-facing camera at your young, skinny, majestically-haired self, take a picture (or upload an old one), and the app does the rest.
The apps can either be used individually or in conjunction with one another. That means you can see what you'll look like when you're fat and old, or bald and fat, or old and bald, or fat, bald, and old. Or you can just get a glimpse into what you'd look like as an old person, or a fat person, or a bald person. It's the perfect way to confront your own mortality during the springtime of your life!
Each app comes with its own in-app upgrade, too: So on Oldify, you can see what you'll look when you're old, and for 99 cents, you can buy a tool that shows you what you'll look like when you're really old; Fatify's upgrade shows you what you'd look like when you're really fat; Baldify's adds in a combover feature.
Oldify and Fatify are free for a limited time, while Baldify will set you back $0.99. Below, we have a guided tour of the apps, how you use them, and what they do to your face. WARNING: Things are about to get old, fat, and bald up in here...