04/25/2012 02:57 pm ET Updated Apr 25, 2012

Tareq Salahi Is Considering Running For Governor Of Virginia, Because Aksdfjkafdfjklsd

Your latest dispatch from the corner of "Idiot Celebrity Avenue" and "Politics Can't Keep Packing On Stupidity At This Rate If It Doesn't Want God To Send A Fusillade Of Lightning Bolts At Its Face Boulevard" concerns the race for governor in the Commonwealth of Virginia, where Tareq Salahi -- best known for parlaying his security-breach White House party-crash into a failed reality show escapade, is said to be "mulling" a campaign. CNN says this story is "TRENDING," so, there's that.

Tareq Salahi put out a "statement?" Okay, fine:

"As a Virginia native for the last 42 years, I am troubled to see how our current political figure heads continue to waste tax payer dollars during these difficult economic times! I'm a big believer in limited government, keeping taxes, regulation and litigation low.

He'll be running to replace a governor who more or less feels the same way, so you might be wondering what his objection is to the way Virginia is currently being governed. These objections perhaps get a little bit clearer when you factor in one of the other Republicans that Salahi would be competing against in the primary, state Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli. Per the Associated Press:

Salahi's plan to run as a Republican comes just days after another GOP candidate for governor filed a lawsuit against Salahi and his winery. Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli claimed in the suit that the winery cheated customers who bought tours.

A Salahi "spokesman" (sigh) piled on, complaining about Cuccinelli wasting "huge sums of tax payer dollars on witch hunt type investigations." Or, you know, that one "witch hunt type investigation" in particular.

Salahi apparently laced up his clown shoes awfully tight to begin this run for Richmond. CNN reports that Salahi's filing application has an error, "as Salahi filled in the wrong date for the November 5, 2013 election. His application says November 6."

The next step for Salahi, should he choose to pursue this, is to file a formal Declaration of Candidacy (which is "generally not filed until January 1, 2013, at the earliest"), which will have to include petitions "signed by 10,000 registered voters in the state with a minimum of 400 from each of Virginia's 11 congressional districts." I'm pretty sure that if 10,000 Virginians sign their names to support Salahi's candidacy, it will unlock some sort of doomsday "seal."

So, keep watch on the James River for when it runs red with blood, the end.

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