Wondering how you can win your divorce case? Here's what you need to know, from divorce lawyer J. Richard Kulerski, the author of "The Secret to a Friendly Divorce: Your Personal Guide to a Cooperative, Out-of-Court Settlement." Have questions? Ask in the comments.
There are no winners in a divorce battle; everyone loses. Make no mistake about it. Here’s why:
1. Our legal system cannot give you more than you have when you enter it.
2. No matter what you have when you enter the system, you will leave with less.
3. And this is before the lawyers get a dime.
These are absolute truths. You do not want to go to a divorce trial, unless there is no alternative, i.e. when it is a last resort.
Those who must take their cases to court want or need something that their soon-to-be ex will not agree to give them. Since they are unable to persuade their partner to agree to a mutually acceptable compromise, they have no alternative but to ask that a judge determine who will give or get what.
In order to obtain a result that is better than what your spouse has offered, you must be able to prove a set of facts that warrant a finding in your favor, and you must have the law on your side. You must also resist the temptation to say or do something to shoot yourself in the foot, e.g. act in a way that could make the judge think less of you. This last part is where you have some control over the outcome.
Remember that once the trial starts, the only person you must convince is the judge. Let your lawyer worry about the evidence, the law, and the overall delivery of your case. Your job in the courtroom is to do what you can to present yourself as a reasonable, good, and credible person.
With this in mind, do not grimace, roll your eyes, or use body language to suggest that whoever is testifying on your spouse’s behalf is lying. Do not make faces if you hear something you do not agree with, and do not pass notes to your lawyer when he or she is addressing the court or questioning a witness.
Make things easier on yourself by accepting that your sense of justice or fairness will not dictate the outcome. It is the law that counts, not your personal beliefs.
Accept the law that applies in your case as it is, and not as you wish it to be.
Have faith in your lawyer and take his or her advice, whether you agree with it or not.