05/03/2012 02:51 pm ET

'Expendables 2' Trailer: 17 Ridiculously Awesome Moments From Sylvester Stallone Actioner (VIDEO)

The "Expendables 2" trailer has exploded (groan) online, and it's just as completely ridiculous as you'd hope. For instance, here's an actual one-liner uttered by dependable movie ass-kicker Jason Stathman: "I now pronounce you man and knife."

Even better? There's plenty more where that came from! Which you might expect from a film starring the likes of Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Liam Hemsworth. Oh, Liam; what would Katniss say about this motley crew of rusty action vets?

Enjoy the most absurd moments from the trailer for "The Expendables 2" below. Watch the trailer in all its glory above.

1. Everything Stallone says in the introduction. "If you thought the first movie kicked some serious ass," said the robot playing Stallone.
2. Liam Hemsworth shooting all those guys? Or does Stallone? Whatever.
3. "Somebody's hooked."
4. Randy Couture looking like the bad guy in "Die Hard."
5. That aforementioned "man and knife" part.
6. The audio editing on the Bruce Willis threat. "You [cut] and your psychotic little [cut] gang of mutts [cut]."
7. "Today is payback."
8. Jean-Claude Van Damme's threat about five tons of plutonium.
9. "I'M BACK!"
10. "Track 'em, find 'em, kill 'em."
11. "Lucky ring."
12. Stallone's facial hair.
13. Schwarzenegger ripping the door of a car.
14. "My shoe is bigger than this car."
15. GUNS!
16. Crashing the plane into a tunnel, "Mission: Impossible" style.
17. "You're gonna need a new plane."

Yep. Awesome. See you at the theater on Aug. 17.

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