05/09/2012 06:02 pm ET Updated Jul 09, 2012

HUFFPOST HILL - Obama Hands Gay Divorce Lobby A Victory

President Obama FINALLY voiced his support for same-sex marriage but, much to Rick Santorum's dismay, kept silent on legalized man-on-dog. Soon after the president's announcement, Mike Huckabee sent out a distraught fundraising appeal, suggesting that a lot more Republicans now believe the Mayan calendar is correct. And if you witness someone violently convulsing in the street, STAY CALM. They are merely experiencing symptoms of President Obama's radical social engineering. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Wednesday, May 9th, 2012:

OBAMA'S OPINION OF GAY MARRIAGE DEVELOPS OPPOSABLE THUMBS, SEES A GIANT MONOLITH AND TOSSES A BONE INTO THE AIR - President Obama declared war on marriage today (really -- that was the Fox headline) when he said aloud that same sex couples should be allowed to mail annoyingly twee "save the date" reminders with all the legal protections that the rest of us enjoy [EDITOR'S NOTE: Saying you're getting "hitched" instead of "married" doesn't make you cool, it makes you annoying... and what is that you're wearing? "Beverly Hillbillies" garb? Shut up.]. Sam Stein: "Barack Obama on Wednesday became the first sitting president to announce his support for same-sex marriage. In a sit-down interview with ABC's Robin Roberts, Obama completed what has been a markedly long and oft-mocked evolution on the matter...'I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together... at a certain point I've just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married,' he said." [HuffPost]

Via Jen Bendery and Hunter Stuart, a video retrospective of the president's evolution-slow evolution

According to administration officials, President Obama evolved (for the second time) earlier this year. Sam Stein: "President Barack Obama came to the decision that he personally supported same sex marriage early in 2012, top administration officials told reporters shortly after the president announced that support. The plan had been to announce his position before the Democratic National Convention. But after Vice President Joseph Biden declared his support for marriage equality on Sunday, the issue touched off a political firestorm and the timeframe for Obama's announcement was expedited. Those top officials, speaking on condition that they not be named or quoted, said that the president was not agitated about Biden's appearance NBC's 'Meet the Press.' Instead, he decided that he had to make his position known sooner rather than later." [HuffPost]

Romney still doesn't like gay marriage, in case that wasn't clear. NBC News: "Mitt Romney reiterated his opposition to same-sex marriage on Wednesday but declined to condemn President Obama's endorsement of gay marriage, noting the sensitivity of the issue. Following a campaign speech in Oklahoma that focused primarily on energy, jobs and the economy, the presumptive Republican nominee reaffirmed his opposition to same-sex marriage in light of Obama's announcement today." [NBC News]

Mike Huckabee sees gay lemons and is making gay lemonade. Via the electronic mail: "Now I know you support traditional marriage, but what I really need to know today, is will you fight for it this election? If so, please send a donation of $10 or more to Huck PAC immediately. We only support candidates who support traditional marriage and who are pro-life. We'll make sure Congress and our state legislatures are stacked with conservatives who don't want our President and the federal government defining marriage for us."

Nancy Pelosi sent out an appeal on behalf of the DCCC: "Isn't it great? President Obama just announced that he supports marriage equality for all Americans... We must continue to fight - in the courts, in state legislatures, and in Congress - until all lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Americans are guaranteed fair treatment in our country. Add your name right now to stand with President Obama in support of marriage equality."

AFGHANISTAN UPDATE: IT'S TRADING WITH IRAN - You bring the flight suit and we'll bring the cheap champagne. This conflict is a big ol' "V." Josh Hersh: "Last Wednesday, government officials from two countries met here to finalize an international pact that would help define their relationship many years into the future. But it wasn't the U.S.-Afghan strategic partnership agreement, which Afghanistan's President Hamid Karzai had signed in the early hours of the night with U.S. President Barack Obama, who had flown into the country on a surprise mission. Instead, it was a simple but crucial trade deal with Iran, Afghanistan's immediate neighbor to the west. That deal, which would secure Afghanistan's access to the new Iranian shipping port of Chabahar in the Indian Ocean, has been in the works for years...It's not the first time Iran has been linked to Afghanistan, nor is it even the first Iranian port employed for this purpose, but the new deal -- and its timing -- underscores a dilemma facing American officials who seek to economically isolate Iran on the one hand, while simultaneously stabilize and strengthen the Afghan economy on the other." [HuffPost]

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HOUSE GOP TO MULTINATIONAL GAY COUPLE: WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS SKYPE - Elise Foley: "House Republicans will intervene in a lawsuit that would keep same-sex couples from being pulled apart -- even separated to different countries -- by immigration authorities under the Defense of Marriage Act, a spokesman for House Speaker John Boehner confirmed on Wednesday. The House GOP took up the challenge of defending DOMA, which bans legal recognition of same-sex marriage at the federal level, in May 2011, after President Barack Obama announced in February 2011 that the Department of Justice would no longer defend it. Obama said at the time that he believed the law was unconstitutional. The president came out in support of legalizing same-sex marriage on Wednesday in an interview with ABC, after about a year and a half of 'evolving' on the issue, but said it should be decided by states." [HuffPost]

MITT ROMNEY GIVES IMPORTANT INTERVIEW, DROWNED OUT BY GAY STUFF - Ariel Edwards-Levy: "Mitt Romney offered some details on his search for a running mate Wednesday, saying he was still considering a wide selection of candidates. 'We're looking at a pretty significant group of people, and we've got a great group of Republican leaders, and I want to take a very careful look and make sure we select someone who has the capacity to become president if that were necessary,' Romney said in a radio interview with Denver's NewsRadio 850 KOA. Asked about the chance that he would choose a female vice presidential candidate, Romney said, 'I can't give you a specific probability [EDITOR'S NOTE: *Beep* *beep* *boop* *boop* ROMNEYBOT CANNOT COMPUTE], of course, but certainly among those people that we will consider will be people of both genders, and we'll hope that the best person is the one that I select. We're early in the process at this point.' He also indicated that the timing of his announcement has not yet been decided." [HuffPost]

MITT ROMNEY CAMPAIGNS WITH PLAN B CORPORATE OVERLORD - Which is a super smart way to distract from Obama's gay marriage thing! Outflank the guy on his left! Love it! MIami New Times: "Romney is coming to Miami Beach next week for a $50,000 a plate fundraiser at the Star Island mega-mansion of Philip and Patricia Frost. Philip Frost just happens to be the chairman of the Board of Directors of Teva Pharmaceuticals, which -- what do you know? -- makes Plan B... Frost's company also manufactures the birth control product ParaGard." [Miami New Times]

And here's a convenient Romney-contradicting-himself-kinda quote! From February, via ThinkProgress: "This same administration said that the churches and the institutions they run, such as schools and let's say adoption agencies, hospitals, that they have to provide for their employees free of charge, contraceptives, morning after pills, in other words abortive pills, and the like at no cost. Think what that does to people in faiths that do not share those views. This is a violation of conscience." [ThinkProgress]

GUY WHO BEAT DICK LUGAR GIVES DSCC ITS FIRST GIFT - The first in what we can only imagine will be a long line of presents. Mike McAuliff: "The newly minted Republican Senate nominee in Indiana, state Treasurer Richard Mourdock, recently compared the divide over tax policy to the climate before the Civil War -- and cast poorer Americans in the role of those who oppose freedom... Mourdock, a geologist by trade, often invokes Abraham Lincoln in his stump speeches, seeing an analogy in the troubled years before the Civil War to the splits in modern America. In a video recording of a speech last June that was provided to The Huffington Post by a Democratic source, Mourdock cited Lincoln's famous pre-Civil War 'House Divided' speech, suggesting that the half of Americans who pay no federal income taxes are the potential enslavers." [HuffPost]

SENATOR ASKS COLLEAGUES TO GIVE PEACE A CHANCE, SENATORS POTENTIALLY TOO BUSY TO CARE - With Amanda Terkel: "The Senate is debating legislation that would impose strict sanctions on Iran, including penalizing U.S. companies whose subsidiaries have ties to the country. The bill, S. Res. 380, would not explicitly allow war with Iran. But [Rand] Paul, who has been a critic of U.S. involvement in both Iraq and Afghanistan, doesn't want to take any chances. His amendment would make clear that nothing in the bill 'shall be construed as a declaration of war or an authorization of use of force against Iran or Syria.' A single senator can wield serious influence in the Senate simply by refusing to go along, and Paul is willing to use it. In late March, Paul blocked the bipartisan Iran sanctions bill from coming to a vote, demanding consideration of his amendment. The House has already approved a version of the legislation. Moving forward would require coming to an agreement with Paul so that he lifts his objection, or getting 60 votes to bypass him, which would chew up several days of limited Senate floor time." [HuffPost]

BEHOLD!!! A HOUSE REPUBLICAN DEFENDING PLANNED PARENTHOOD!!! - That faint squawking you just heard from another dimensional plane was a dodo bird being impressed. Laura Bassett: "Freshman Rep. Bob Dold (R-Ill.) on Wednesday introduced H.R. 5650, the Protecting Women's Access to Health Care Act, which prevents lawmakers from blocking Title X family planning funds to Planned Parenthood because some of its clinics provide abortions. 'Specifically, this legislation says that when it comes to participation in the Title X program, health care providers such as hospitals and health care clinics, including Planned Parenthood, cannot be discriminated against and excluded simply because they choose to offer additional services, separate from Title X,' he told reporters on Wednesday." [HuffPost]

Jersey update: "A close legislative ally of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) is planning to introduce a bill that would curtail the political power of unions in the state and cost campaign funds for Democrats. Tom Kean Jr. (R-Westfield), minority leader in the New Jersey Senate, will offer legislation to expand the state's pay-to-play ban to include labor unions, specifically those negotiating contracts with state and local government entities, including school boards. Kean said he is seeking to close what he called the biggest loophole in New Jersey's pay-to-play law, which imposes strict limits on how much businesses seeking government contracts can donate to political candidates in the state." [HuffPost's John Celock]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - These French bulldogs are a metaphor for something, but we don't know what.

MARYLAND SUBURBANITES ANNOYED BY NATURE ONCE MORE - HuffPost DC: "For ten years, Roscoe the rooster crowed Takoma Park residents awake. Then Roscoe was run over by a car. Now roosters are back in this Maryland neighborhood." [HuffPost]

By @bradjshannon!

- There's a troll at the leaning tower of Pisa. [http://bit.ly/JgqUt1]

- "Passion Booty" offers the most romantic selections from your favorite rappers. (sNSFW:language) [http://bit.ly/KndGgA]

- Cat vs. cabinet. [http://bit.ly/KnelPe]

- Know Your Enemy: Catnip. [http://bit.ly/KneJx4]

- Sound + Zero-G + Water = WHAAAAAT [http://bit.ly/KneOku]

- What seems to be the problem here? [http://bit.ly/JVRCpi]

- PastPages.org archives the front pages of news sites every hour or so. [http://bit.ly/KneyBO]


@Choire: Anyway, thank god I got gay-married last year, when it was still cool and underground.

@jdickerson: Joe Biden has such an impact on evolution you'd think if you put a amoeba next to him it would be a horse in a day.

@dylanmatt: I kind of hope Obama shocks everyone by declaring marriage to be a bourgeois institution and calling for its total abolition.

By @christinawilkie


5:00pm - 8:00pm: Insofar as Congress ever can be, It's ladies night, courtesy of the Professional Beauty Federation's Annual Shindig. There are free samples, free salon services (a little risky, eh?), and cocktails. [Cannon 345]

5:30pm: Now that Charlie Rangel's got a plugged-in Democratic primary challenger with a Super PAC, he's going to need every nickel he raises at a fundraiser at former Rep. Ed Jenkins' house. [428 New Jersey Ave., SE]

6:00pm - 8:00pm: Once in awhile, a lobbyist reception doesn't suck, and the Association of Zoos and Aquariums' Reception is one of them. Besides being outside, there are animals to play with. If you're lucky, you might even see a Newt. [Rayburn Cafeteria and Courtyard]


12:00pm: The ten zillionth musician to campaign for Obama is ... Dave Matthews, who jams, bro' style, with the president at a Seattle fundraiser. [901 Pine Street]

12:00pm: For those who didn't get tickets to the sweet Dave Matthews concert in Seattle, there's an equally rad lunch briefing on childhood lead poisoning. [SVC 200]

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