05/22/2012 03:26 pm ET Updated May 22, 2012

Jeff Greenfield Wants You To Stop Writing All Your Pointless 'Biden-for-Clinton' Veep-Switch Stories

Jeff Greenfield has heard all of your wild-eyed ideas about the possibility that President Barack Obama might pursue some election year gambit and switch out Joe Biden for Hillary Clinton atop the 2012 ticket, associated political hacks of America, and he would like you all to cut it out, thanks so much!

When you read a rumination--or recommendation, or prediction--that President Barack Obama will replace Vice President Joe Biden with Hillary Clinton on the Democratic ticket--the odds are overwhelming that its creator was inspired by two thoughts:

1. My deadline is an hour away.

2. I got nothing.

That's 100 percent correct, even though it forgives the possibility that these pieces are mainly conceived by dint of the fact that a political reporter stood too close to Sally Quinn at a cocktail party, heard her thoughts on the matter, and decided that opened the door to a story where "political insiders are discussing the possibility," when they are really just filling the void between drunk and bored with idle blather.

Greenfield goes on to suggest that if the mood suddenly seizes you to write about this, you should ask yourself a series of questions, one of which is "if Obama were to attempt this, how would he explain it?" The nice thing about this is that if Obama were attempting such a maneuver, you wouldn't need to ask a question, because the reason why would be one of two painfully self-evident possibilities: either 1) Biden has perished in an Amtrak derailment, or 2) Obama is losing the election by six points in October, and is all out of ideas.

Find a new toy.

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