06/11/2012 05:18 pm ET Updated Aug 11, 2012

4 Things Single Men Will Never Fully Understand About Women

There's a deleted scene from the movie 10000 BC in which the affable character Tic'Tic remarks to D'leh that Evolet will probably pretend to have a headache the first night they're together after he rescues her if he doesn't ask her how her day's been. This shows that terrible observations about the different ways men and women think have existed for thousands of years. Or it would if I hadn't made that up and 10000 BC had been in any way factual or even remotely interesting, which of course it wasn't. But if I hadn't ruined it by pointing that out, that may have been a good setup for my premise here -- that there are some legitimate differences between the sexes that cannot be overcome or understood. There are things men will never understand about the world of women. But there are reasons why. Come, let us understand humanity's myriad differences together!