On New Year's Eve I was single. I went to a big hotel party with a big group of people, and I only knew a couple of them. Not too long after midnight, (but way after I started drinking), I saw a tall white guy doing tall white guy dance moves. It's hard to resist a tall guy who's 1000% committed to his mediocre dance moves. We talked, and danced.
Three days later we were seeing each other exclusively. Three weeks later I was his girlfriend. The day after he asked me to be his girlfriend he told me he loved me. A couple of weeks after that, he asked me to move in with him. Last week I finished moving in with the dancing machine.