06/13/2012 02:00 pm ET

The Wedding I Almost Ruined

I’m not really good at weddings. Too often, I find them to be unctuous affairs, overburdened by unreasonable expectations, occasions for the playing out of family dramas and the seething of long-standing resentments, marking a commitment that in all likelihood will not last or a relationship that has technically long since been consummated. Civility requires me to try to keep such unorthodox thoughts to myself. So when I find myself at such an event, I try my best to smile and remark on the good time I am having while making repeated visits to the bar.