06/22/2012 10:15 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

JOKES: Henny Youngman At His Best

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

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