06/25/2012 08:52 am ET

Baby You're A Firework! Own The Night Like The 25th Of June

This evening, three barges in the Detroit River will shoot off fireworks in celebration of.... being nine days before the 4th of July. Yes, the Detroit International Fireworks are for Canada to enjoy too, and therefore have nothing to do with celebrating how we got away from Great Britain with that independence-declaring paperwork.

But what the hell, tonight things explode and we have an excuse to party on a Monday. Hopefully somewhere near the water, on a roof (call your condo friends now!), or adjacent to a multi-course VIP meal in which case, who cares what the loud noises are and pass the lobster...

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