It's official: Oreos have come out of the pantry.
Kraft Foods received backlash this week for posting a photo of a gay pride-themed cookie on their official Facebook page, prompting Stephen Colbert to dedicate a segment to the controversy on "The Colbert Report" Wednesday night.
"Dear God... Oreos are gay!" Colbert exclaimed in disbelief. "I should have known something was fishy when those 'homosnacksuals' got me to consent to consensual double-stuffing!"
All in all, Colbert couldn't believe how naive he had been to think that a sweet, simple cookie couldn't be tainted by socio-sexual identity politics. If Oreos are gay, what are his other favorite snack foods hiding? All of a sudden that Twinkie mascot looks like XXX pornography.
Watch Colbert's segment above and find out where he fears other popular foodstuffs stand on today's hot-button issues.