07/18/2012 10:06 am ET

I Get Presents For Being Single And You Should Too

I've been invited to three baby showers this month alone. And while I don't particularly enjoy them, I'll be there all the same because that's what friends (and extremely casual acquaintances) do.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy to celebrate my loved ones' lives. There are just other things I'd like to be doing on a Saturday afternoon. Like submerging myself into a pot of boiling oil for example. That'd be fun.

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