This is a regular column featuring original poetry and fiction by and for teens, provided by Figment.com, an online community writing site for young people.
By Jessica Boesch
Can I just say how stupid that sounds? I feel dumb just writing that. I mean, really, it isn’t a journal I’m writing to, it’s to a future me, or whoever picks it up and snoops around in my stuff. So since I can’t think of anything better to say, I’ll start it with ‘Dear Journal,’ but I want you to know I don’t want to.
Anyway, our guidance counselor assigned me this. She says she won’t ever read it or anything, but unless I don’t turn it in, I don’t think that’s going to happen. Most likely this will be the first draft of ten that I’ll write, and then change because it’s just a little too close and personal. When you read a journal entry, it’s supposed to have some sort of juicy secret, I know, but my secrets… they aren’t the kind I want anyone reading about.
So I guess now I talk about my problems? Or do I introduce myself? I’ve always been terrible at writing these things. I’d get a week into a journal, and then forget about it, or rip up the entries so no one could see. So no one could use them.
Well, I’m Jane White. It isn’t the best name ever, I always kind of think of it as a more old-fashioned name, hence I picture an old lady having the name. I suppose it could be worse though. I’m in the eighth grade, one of the bad parts of middle school where all the drama and that crap takes place. I try to stay out of it, but… Well, let’s just say I really can’t stand this one girl.
So this one girl, we’ll call her ‘Mildred’ because she always makes me feel like I have a bad name. So in this little piece of paper, she’s going to have a name she would hate. No offense to anyone named Mildred, though. Mildred likes to show off. She shows off everything, her money, her position as captain of the cheerleading team, and her writing. It irks me, and I can’t let it go. She brags all the time! It isn’t a huge secret I kind of like to write. But Mildred, she parades her work around school, asking all her friends to read it, while never letting anyone else read it. I can’t say she is good, but I also can’t say she is absolutely terrible either, since I have never gotten a look at any of her stuff. Just the huge notebook she carries around and writes in.
That last paragraph was getting a little long, and it was bugging me. Sorry, but for the moment, you get the picture of Mildred. She’s the kind of girl I CANNOT stand, and she makes a point to hang out with more than one of my friends. Annoying? I think so. Because of her, my social life has come crashing down, not that it was ever anything huge. But some nights I wish I could march up to her and tell her flat out that I can’t stand her anymore. But everyone sees me as the quiet girl in the back of the classroom who gets mostly B’s and A’s, so if I did that, that reputation would be ruined. Or tarnished.
I don’t like dealing with people, okay? Someday when I become a writer I’ll just live in my house and type all day, after I start making enough to support myself. However, I have to deal with all my classmates, from the sweating, obnoxious boys, to the girls who may as well have carried mirrors around all day, they are so self-absorbed. So while I wish I could just build walls around myself, the best I can do is hide behind an invisible shell.
Okay, so, what else do diaries hold? I’ve gotten a good chunk of stuff off my chest, but what else can I do in a journal entry? Hmmm, I talked about liking to write, I guess. Historical fiction is my favorite, because the research can be pretty fun. Thank goodness the librarian lets me check out the reference books from time to time. I kind of fail at poetry, so I stick with short stories and attempted novels.
I think we’ve heard enough about me today. I’ve got to fabricate a lot of stuff in another entry for the guidance counselor still today, so I’ll keep this whole for now, and maybe I’ll continue it.